Read the Psalm

These pilgrim songs begin with a sense of being displaced and disoriented. Displaced? Disoriented? Isn’t that a strange place to start a pilgrimage? Wouldn’t it be better to start with joy and laughter in anticipation of what lies ahead? Perhaps, but as we will see, disorientation is a good thing. It is a really good thing. 

When we see and acknowledge our own sense of disorientation, it leads us home. Our disorientation can actually orient us and point our hearts, minds, and bodies to our home which is God.

This prayer begins with acknowledging distress. The Hebrew word connotes being in a tight space. The idea is that the circumstances of life are pressing in, and the experience is one of anguish. The psalmist desires to be delivered or rescued from this tight spot. 

Often, as we find ourselves in a spot like that, we may find ourselves moving into a fight, flight, freeze, or numb response. We just want to get rid of the anguish so we either try to muscle our way through it, run away from it, shut down our heart, or engage in behaviors that serve to numb the experience. Each of these responses lead us away from reality where God is waiting and listening for our prayer.

As the psalmist calls out to God from a place of distress, God responded. He was present. The lack of specific response by God in Psalm 120 is compelling. It wasn’t that there was specific deliverance out of the distress, but the psalmist trusted that God was present and listening as he prayed.

Certainly, the Lord does not promise deliverance in ways we might expect, but often deliverance happens through sustaining us in the time of distress.

In Psalm 120:5, we read the words “Woe to me that I sojourn in Meshech and that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!” The two place names are not incredibly important except to note that they are the two farthest points from home. In the case of the Old Testament believers, Jerusalem. 

In the Old Testament scriptures, the presence of God is described as home … the place where everything makes sense, justice reigns, and peace flourishes. For the Old Testament believer, God’s presence was everywhere (e.g., Psalm 139) and yet there was a specific sense in which God’s presence was accessed in His house (the house of the Lord, the temple, the courts of God, etc.). Every part of His creation longs to be enveloped by His good presence (cf., Romans 8:19) and yet we find ourselves in spaces and places where His presence may seem far away.

The good news is that He is not far away (Acts 17:24-27) and He doesn’t actually live in a house made by human hands. In many ways, the descriptions of a physical place serve as a metaphor for people seeking God in all times in history. And … it is a journey (or, pilgrimage) of moving from disorientation to reorientation to orientation. However, we do not skip steps along the journey. Each part is significant to the forming and shaping which God is offering. Specifically, we have to experience disorientation before we realize we are not at home.

In what ways do you feel far from home? In what sense can you identify with the psalmist’s lament and cry of distress? It may feel threatening to confess any level of distress and we may have built a life around being positive about everything … pushing down or compartmentalizing the hard things of things.

Will you open yourself to the reality of disorientation and meet God there? As we acknowledge disorientation, we are connecting with God who is our home and we embark on a journey to experiencing the fullness of our life in Christ. What begins to emerge from distress is desire.

In Romans 8:18-23, we find these words: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

Paul goes on to encourage: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” (Romans 8:26)

Take a few moments to pray and simply express your distress or disorientation to the Lord. Sit quietly and acknowledging you don’t know what to pray, trusting the Spirit is praying. Notice what the Father might be offering in response.

Reflection questions: In this life, there is always some measure of distress. Can you acknowledge the disorientation you may feel? Notice any desire that may be emerging for you as you give voice to disorientation. 

Prayer: Lord, I do recognize that things are not fully as they should be and I depend upon You to lead me home and shape new things in me. May desire deepen and be more real than the disorientation. Amen.