Week 4 | Surrender: From Anger to Stillness

“The spiritual journey is a constant interplay between moments of awe followed by a general process of surrender to that moment,” writes Father Richard Rohr in Just This. Another way to describe awe is joyful awareness. As we become aware, surrender is possible. Without awareness, we get stuck in unconscious reactive patterns.

It might sound strange to think that if we are aware of things that need to be surrendered we would be joyful. Yet, if our greatest desire is to live in His gaze then discoveries like this could indeed be considered awe inducing. Anthony deMello observed,

“Awareness, awareness, awareness.
There is only one thing you need — awareness.
Awareness heals, awareness transforms, awareness sets you free.”

If you are becoming more aware of the internal posture of your heart, it is good, holy, and joyful as well as humbling and sobering. Awareness has a way of grounding us and giving us a rootedness that supports surrender.

In Matthew 5, Jesus gave examples of the fruit of a controlling heart. He began with anger and then discussed lust, casual divorce, dishonesty, and retaliation. We are wise to receive His words about these specific truths if they are present in our lives. However, Jesus’ invitation is to stop and look at our hearts – to become aware of controlling patterns and reactions that plague us.

As we become aware of and then surrender control, we step into the gaze of God.

Anger, or control, can show up in a variety of ways. With which form of anger do you most relate? For you, is anger expressed more outwardly? Or, do you relate to an kind of anger that is turned inward? While the more typically outward forms of anger can be easier to spot, anger that is repressed or turned inward can lead to emotional withdrawal, self-criticism, self-harm, or physical symptoms related to our cardiovascular and digestive systems.

Other ways that anger can manifest itself in less obvious ways can include intellectualized anger, shutdown of emotions, and excessiveness busyness. 

Often, we rationalize or intellectualize our anger as being legitimate. For example, we might reason: If only this person hadn’t done ________, I wouldn’t be so angry. Sometimes we may cling to the idea of a holy or righteous anger far too quickly, or we blame another person. As we sit with God, we ask: Is this situation something I should be angry about: an issue of injustice or abuse of power? Or, is it a “violation” of how I’d like things to be? 

We may also experience the effects of anger as a shutdown of emotions. As a result, it is common for someone to say they are not really emotional. Frequently, when we shut down our emotions, this becomes a protective mechanism in our life. Additionally, repressing our anger and emotions can be spiritualized as having a strong faith and even applauded by others.

Finally, excessive busyness can be a cover for not wanting to be aware of what is happening under the surface. It can feel easier to stay busy than to confront an anger or disappointment with life, others, or God.

In trials and difficulties, the half-brother of Jesus, James, offered a simple, helpful spiritual practice:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

James 1:19–20

Even though James invites a response of joy (James 1:2-3), our initial and very human response to a trial is anger. To this, James offers, “be quick to hear” which invites us to be “slow to speak” and “slow to anger.” Whether it is self-talk (Why do these things happen to me? or I can’t handle this) or verbalized complaints, we mistakenly think that talking will get us where we want to go. Awareness is foundational to laying anger aside and walking in joyful awareness. 

Going slow is a contemplative practice that allows us to listen to God – to being aware of what is going on inside of us. If we go fast, it often means that we are reacting out of anger and we have “talked” ourselves into what to do. If we go slow, it means that we can be quick to hear God’s voice in the midst of what is happening.

Spend a few minutes right now and consider a situation that has seemed out of control. In what ways have you been tempted to go fast (toward hasty outward action or to a suppression of feelings)? Prayerfully imagine – with the Lord – what a slow (quick to hear Him) response would look like.

Prayer: Lord, help me to be aware of the ways I engage anger and feel out of control. I desire to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. In Your mercy, I pray. Amen.