Week 4 | Surrender: From Anger to Stillness

At the heart of the contemplative invitation to surrender is the releasing of control. As anger (in whatever form) arises, we are invited to notice and release any control that we have been seeking. In some situations, this may mean that anger remains because there are some things which should lead us to anger. For example, violence, abuse, neglect, and manipulation should make us angry.

If we can release control as a motivating desire, a pure anger (if any at all) will remain. This kind of anger is righteous because it is not about control, but about advocating. Then, we will know how to find personal healing or bringing justice. But, with that issue of control, how do we release it? How do we let go?

First, we release or surrender as we trust that we are safe in God’s care. Second from that posture, we notice our attempts to control. Finally, we release outcomes, trusting that God has an unfolding plan.

As a faithful follower of Yahweh, Jesus would have prayed the psalms, and it is likely that Psalm 121 was rooted deep within His heart. In that psalm, God is repeatedly called the keeper or guard of His people. This description of God was shared in response to the question, “From where does my help come?” In the midst of chaos and an out-of-control world, we ask that question as well: Who will help me? As we look to God and acknowledge that He is the keeper of our lives and well-being, we find ourselves surrendering to that care. We may have to return to these thoughts repeatedly for it to become grounded in our souls. 

Spiritual releasing is a muscle that has to be exercised to gain strength. Often, our strongest muscles or impulse are related to feeling that we must take care of ourselves. It takes time for those reactionary and self-preserving muscles to atrophy and the releasing muscle to take over. So, be patient with yourself and the process.

The next part of releasing is noticing what to release. In the safety of knowing that God keeps and guards us, we can let go of what we have held on to for control. Take a few moments to review the examples that Jesus gives in Matthew 5. Sexual lust (5:27-30) is a form of control because we are trying to secure what we do not have. Even if it is just in our imagination, we may utilize lust to give us a sense of having everything go our way – getting what we want when we want it. Casual divorce (5:31-32) is an attitude of getting rid of what we dohave. The issue of oaths and swearing falsely (5:33-37) is controlling or shaping a narrative in a way that will get you what you want. We are invited to resist and turn the other cheek (5:38-42) which reveals that often our hearts want revenge so we can make sure things turn out fair and equitable. Finally, the encouragement to love one’s enemies (5:43-48) counters the idea that we get to choose who we honor with love. We are invited to love all.

Do any of these examples resonate? If so, sit with God in prayer – entrusting what you  notice to Him. If not, ask God to bring to your awareness another example in your own life.

Finally, at the center of releasing control is releasing outcomes. Our hearts can become controlling and angry when we want things to turn out a certain way. As we trust that God holds us and the future, we trust Him with outcomes. The challenge is that we often perceive God as slow. Philosopher and priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote the following about trusting God with outcomes:

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.

The invitation is to trust that God is unfolding a future that can be trusted. Then, we have released control. Consider the following prayer by Steve Summerell:

Prayer: Sit with the prayer above.