Week 6 | See: From Anxiety to Silence

As we follow the contemplative path of Jesus, we seek to surrender, sit, and see in the gaze of God. For most of our lives, God is an object to be understood. We relate to Him through theology and quite often as One who is “out there” and needs to be summoned. We even use phrases like “God showed up” or “I need Him to show up.” Thomas Merton observed, “In silence God ceases to be an object and becomes an experience.” As we embrace silence, we internalize the reality of God with us. He is with. He is present. He is loving us. We begin to see it.

The truth is that we need to show up, and silence is a great mentor.

Frequently, our anger, shame, and anxiety lead us to see God as an object to be used, rather than One with whom we are connected. In silence, we experience oneness with Him. All of our hurts and traumas that led to anger, shame, and anxiety came from experiences, and it is through experience that we know healing. We need to feel and know in our bones that God cares for us. Silence strips away notions to the contrary and leaves us delightfully vulnerable to the One who holds our lives. 

Thomas Keating echoed the statements of many mystical writers over the millennia in saying, “Silence is God’s first language; everything else is a poor translation. In order to hear that language, we must learn to be still and to rest in God.” Silence is the language of love. When there is intimacy, hardly a word needs to be spoken.

This isn’t easy. Silence – both externally and internally – are not what we learn from a young age. In both our families of origin and the broader culture, silence is something to be avoided. Silence means something is wrong. Or silence is used to avoid and keep people and situations at a distance. 

However, in silence, we see the delight of God. In John 5:19, when Jesus said that “the Son of Man can do nothing of his own accord, but only does what He sees the Father doing,” Jesus spoke of the Father’s involvement and connection to His life. There was a story that God the Father was unfolding. Jesus got away to the deserted places repeatedly to hear His Father. Just a few verse later in John 5:30, Jesus reiterated “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just because I seek not my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” The word “judge” can be translated as “discern.” Our of hearing and listening, Jesus discerned and acted. 

The metaphors of seeing and hearing speak to the same reality – spiritual awareness. And what is the awareness? Awareness of God’s will. His will is His heart or His delight. We see or discern as we become silent before Him. Psalm 27:4 speaks of meditating in God’s temple, dwelling in His presence:

It is when we embrace silence that we are able to meditate on the Lord’s delight and the ways that He is at work in the world around us.

Anthony deMello, in Contact with God wrote:

There are few things that help so much for conversing with Christ as silence. The silence I speak of is, obviously, the inner silence of the heart without which the voice of Christ will simply not be heard. This inner silence is very hard to achieve for most of us: close your eyes for a moment and observe what is going on within you. The chances are you will be submerged in a sea of thoughts that you are powerless to stop – talk, talk, talk (for that is what thinking generally is, me talking to myself) – noise, noise, noise: my own inner voice competing with the remembered voices and images of others, all clamoring for my attention. What chances does the subtle voice of God stand in all of this din and bustle? Your tolerance of silence is a fairly good indicator of your spiritual (and even intellectual and emotional) depth.

Simply pause for at least five minutes of silence before God. Do not try to make anything happen – just be. As you notice distractions, gently let them go, not trying to control them or judge them. Return to presence. Let your intention to know God’s delight guide you. You are in His gaze. He will meet you and delight in you whether you are fully aware or not. 

Prayer: God of all goodness and glory, lead my heart and help me to embrace silence as a mentor and friend in this journey. I want to meditate upon You in Your presence. Amen.