Week 7 | Peace: From Distraction to Presence

The deepest fruit of contemplation is to forget oneself. This is to be so absorbed in the love of Christ that we do not have to think of ourselves. James Houston, beloved professor and founder of Regent College was asked about what it meant to have a significant life. His response: “Unintentional self-forgetfulness.”

As we live in this love, we become self-forgetful. It’s not intentional – it just happens as we give ourselves to the love and delight of a Father who sees us, knows us, and understands us. Nowhere is this more beautifully lived out than in the life of Jesus, especially as He washed the feet of His disciples. It was a job normally reserved for a household servant. Jesus bowed down, sat on the floor, took up a towel with a basin of water, and washed the dirty feet of His disciples.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” (John 13:3–7)

Jesus simply said to Peter, who protested, you’ll understand in time. Jesus did not have a need to be understood. He was not trying to teach a lesson. Jesus simply desired to love His disciples. Henri Nouwen wrote: “When we have come to know God’s unconditional love, we no longer need to prove ourselves. We can give freely, without fear, without self-concern.” Nouwen also shared: “The more you let go of your need to be seen, the more you can truly see others.”

We also see this in Jesus as He welcomed children who were seen as a distraction in the first century:

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. (Mark 10:13–16)

Jesus loved without reference to Himself. He gave. He blessed. He received. The fruit of living in God’s gaze is not thinking of ourselves at all. We do not need to! Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, One God, holding our lives, we are free. 

This does not come without struggle. Jesus agonized in the Garden of Gethsemane as He approached the cross. The ultimate act of self-forgetfulness did not come without trial. Jesus was aware of what was before Him. He experienced the temptation to self-protect. Rather than wallowing in it or trying to access “will-power,” He prayed:

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke 22:42–44)

We live into self-forgetfulness as we seek God’s kingdom, His presence with us. In this wide-open space, we increasingly come to know that none of this is about us. What God does or doesn’t do is none of our business. After the resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciples by the Sea of Tiberias. Jesus specifically challenged Peter with the words, “Follow Me” after sharing about how Peter would die. Peter looked at John and said, “What about him?” Jesus said to Peter, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:22) Our journey in the gaze of God is unique to us. How God unfolds His grace, love, and delight in each of us is a mystery that gets revealed over time. If we are defining ourselves by what others do or don’t do, we have moved away from God’s gaze and into self-protection or self-absorption. 

For the next few minutes, scan through all the details of your life and see them in God’s hands. See Him holding all of you. Consider the following from Brother Lawrence:

“What comforts me in this life is that I now see Him by faith; and I see Him in such a manner as might make me say sometimes, I believe no more, but I see.” We increasingly forget about ourselves as we dwell in God’s gaze and our believing becomes seeing.

Prayer: Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, God of all glory, may I dwell deeper and deeper into this place of unintentional self-forgetfulness. Amen.