Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

In Hebrews 5:8, we are told that “Although he was a son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.” In what sense did Jesus have to learn obedience? If we understand obedience relationally, obedience is not merely outward action, but the inward action of trust and love in which we honor (obey) another person. The word “responsive” could fit here as well. Jesus learned responsiveness through suffering. 

In His humanity, Jesus needed to nurture His connection with the Father. He needed to strengthen and reinforce His responsiveness. This happened through suffering – through being tested.

In Matthew 3, Jesus was baptized and His connection with the Father was affirmed as the Father spoke from heaven. Then, in Matthew 4:1-11, we observe that “Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” Jesus’ time in the wilderness was not pleasant and it was also not accidental. The text says He was hungry, and in Mark 1, the presence of “wild animals” is highlighted. In addition, Mark 1 pushes further the idea of being “led” (from Matthew 4) by saying that He was “cast out” or “pushed out” in the wilderness by the Spirit.

Hunger, isolation, danger, and weariness deepened Jesus’ identity and human experience of God the Father. The wilderness is a place of transformation – a place of deliverance. In the wilderness, each part of what was affirmed at the baptism was challenged and tested.

The enemy’s temptations took each part of Jesus’ connection and questioned it.

The enemy was seeking to stir up anxiety, shame, and anger with the three temptations. Of course, Jesus responded beautifully and did not fall for the deception. Anxiety would have led to breadmaking. Shame would have led to a jump. Anger would have meant kneeling down to the enemy. Jesus models a way for us as we encounter what we confront in the wilderness.

It is in the wilderness–times of suffering or disorientation–that we experience those same three temptations. This is the enemy’s pattern for all temptations which is to move away from the gaze of God. We see it in Genesis 3 with Adam and Eve. The tempter brought disorientation as he said, “Did God actually say …?” Notice the parallel with Matthew 4:

• “the tree was good for food” – “command these stones to become bread”
• “a delight to the eyes” – “throw yourself down (from the temple)”
• “make one wise” – “to be given all the kingdoms of the world”

It is in the wilderness that our reliance upon anything other than the gaze of God is brought to the surface. We may be unaware of ways we are looking elsewhere. The wilderness brings it out. We are challenged in the deep places of our soul. Questions arise, doubts surface, loneliness emerges. And, we experience pain It is at the margins –in the wilderness places – that we learn obedience (responsiveness) to the gaze of God. 

If we allow ourselves to feel the temptations and to confront them, we can be quite uncomfortable. We often choose avoidance, denial, and distraction from the harsh places. Jesus models attentively walking through the wilderness – as we abide in the difficult place. He did not run. We can try to run from suffering, or we can receive it. God won’t force us to enter the school of His love when we suffer, but He does invite us. We receive (or, welcome) suffering when we abide with God in what we are experiencing.

And we welcome the wilderness because we know it is for our deliverance – our learning to live in the gaze of God. Indeed, as we abide with God wherever we are, any wilderness becomes a place of deliverance rather than simply a place of temptation. This is at the heart of what Jesus taught us to pray in the Sermon on the Mount.

Take a few moments today and prayerfully notice: Are there things in my life that I am avoiding, denying, or distracting myself from? Ask God what it will look like to abide in Him.

Prayer: Lord, I welcome everything that comes to me to today because I know it’s for my healing. I let go of my desire for control, approval, and security. I let go of my desire to change anything. I open myself to Your love. Amen. 

(adapted from The Welcoming Prayer, Thomas Keating) 

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

The contemplative rhythm of Jesus leads us to embrace a posture of listening. Ultimately, listening is more about our perception and awareness than about audibly hearing something. It’s about seeing what God sees. When we come to the quiet place with God – that inner room of the heart – we surrender to the voice of God that names us, we sit in our belovedness, and then we see what God sees as we trust His provision.

We wait.

Listening prayer is attentively waiting before God to receive whatever He gives, keeping your heart open to whatever God says. If He seems quiet, you might receive that as His desire to simply to be with you – not needing to share anything except His loving presence. 

It can be helpful to remember that listening prayer is about relationship, not performance, outcomes, or controlling the agenda. If you notice any of those things, simply let them go. Things “happen” during and because of listening prayer but it is often not obvious. Much of how we experience God is deeper than even our awareness.

Practice: set a timer for 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes. Enter the time by simply praying a Scripture such as:

“Speak for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:10

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Sit quietly and keep your heart open. At the end of the set time, review what you noticed. You can’t do this wrong, so simply notice with gratitude.

As you close, give thanks.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

The heart of living in the gaze of God is actively listening to Him. Many of us were discipled in a “belief-centered” system in which becoming more and more grounded in theology and doctrine is what it means to follow Christ. While not taking away from the importance of theological belief, it is important to note that the contemplative way of Jesus is a “relationship-centered” system.

Relationship is about interaction, giving, receiving, and listening. Theology provides a discernment and is necessary, but it is not the point. It is one thing to know cognitively that God loves us, and it is another to hear Him say it to us. In fact, we only become grounded in the love of God when it becomes an experiential, relational reality.

As we engage in listening prayer, we are listening in on God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) loving us. Often, we sense His love. Other times, we hear, “I love you.” Still other times, it is the sound of silence (cf., 1 Kings 19:12) that holds the space.

Listening to that voice of love requires intention, time, and space. While we can access God’s voice at any time, learning to listen well occurs as our “powers of discernment (are) trained by constant practice” (Hebrews 5:14). The process can be difficult. In The Inner Voice of Love, Henri Nouwen commented on what it is like to listen to God’s voice of love: 

It will take a great deal of time and patience to distinguish between the voice of your wounded self and the voice of God, but as you grow more and more faithful to your vocation, this will become easier…

Our vocation is to live in the gaze of God. This is our first and primary calling. The voice of our wounded self describes the ways we are tempted away from the gaze of God and instead to look for what He gives us in other places. Next week, as we look at the temptations of Christ, we gain discernment regarding the voice of the wounded self. 

Our wounds can lead us to having a protective, closed heart. For many of us, hurt, pain, and disappointment have led to a self-protective posture. Because of hurt, we make promises to ourselves: I’ll never open my heart to someone, I’ll never be poor, I’ll never be a victim, I’ll never be looked down on, etc. Our wounds become the spokesperson for our lives, and we make decisions and chart courses based on own woundedness rather than the love of God. 

Listening to that voice of love requires us to have an open, soft heart. The writer of Hebrews (quoting from Psalm 95) three times implores the reader:

Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts …  (3:7-8, 15; 4:7)

This verse assumes that God speaks and that we can listen. If we are going to listen, we are implored to keep our hearts open and receptive. In this moment, is your heart open to God’s voice? Are there things that have hardened your heart? 

Take a few moments and talk to God about the condition of your heart. Ask Him and then notice what He brings to your awareness. As you become aware of anything causing hardness, surrender it to God. Place it in His hands. After working through what God brings to your attention, sit quietly in trust.

Prayer: Lord, I open my heart to You. In Your mercy, help me to keep an open heart that is willing to listen. Amen. 

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

As we engage in contemplative practice, we experience a shared awareness with the Trinity – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:16 expresses the reality that “we have the mind of Christ.” This is an intimate picture of our shared awareness. As we surrender ourselves to God in quiet prayer, we are opening ourselves to the mind of Christ.

In the profound prayer found in the middle of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, we see the Trinity at work leading us into the experience of being safe, seen, and secure as we surrender, sit, and see.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. 

Ephesians 3:14–21

Notice the way this passage parallels the words spoken at Christ’s baptism: the Father names us, the Son grounds us in love, and the Spirit strengthens us to see (know) that love at work in us. We are invited to knowthis “baptismal” identity in the context of prayerful attentiveness. In the last part of the prayer, notice the confession that this knowing happens beyond what we could ask or think. And the “knowing” of His love is an experiential knowing that goes beyond knowledge. These are realities that we become present to in quiet prayer.

In prayer, the Lord affirms with our spirit that we are safe, seen, and secure. Romans 8:16 makes this clear: “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” As we hear the voice of the Spirit – as we rest in His gaze – we are listening in on the conversation (prayer) that is happening between Father, Son, and Spirit. Notice what is written a few verses later: 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26–27

Jesus is a part of this prayer as we read in Hebrews 7:25, “Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.” 

This is explained in the Gospel of John, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you” (16:13–14).

God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are holding us in prayerful conversation each moment. Truly, we are always on the mind of God. And as we enter into listening prayer, this is what we hear.

Certainly, there are times when the prayer shared within the Trinity is a quiet holding of our lives. So, while we may not have any words, there is a knowing – a sense of God’s presence and love.

Set a timer for a few minutes and simply listen. Surrender to His presence, sit in His love, and seek to see what He sees.

Prayer: Lord, may I be strengthened by the Spirit in my inner being, knowing the expansiveness of Your love. Amen.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

The Father affirmed to Jesus that He took delight in Him. While we may think of delight in purely sentimental terms, it is much more robust and concrete than a mere feeling or emotion. It may contain emotion, but the force of delight is involvement and empowerment. 

God spoke through the prophet Isaiah and foretold the coming “servant of the Lord” (or, Messiah):

Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon him … Isaiah 42:1 

The first line contains parallel phrases. “My servant” and “My chosen” are connected. “Whom I uphold” and “in whom I delight” express parallel ideas as well. The Father delights in the Son and He upholds Him. Specifically, He “upholds” as He puts the Holy Spirit upon Him. We see this in Christ’s baptism as “the Spirit of God descending like a dove … coming to rest on Him” (Matthew 3:16).

To delight in someone is to be actively involved in their lives. In Philippians 2:13, the Apostle Paul wrote, “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  The word eudokia (translated as “good pleasure”) is the same word the Father speaks over Jesus at His baptism. So too, just as God the Father is delighted with Jesus, He delights over us and works in our lives. He is involved. Like a parent who shows up to their child’s soccer game or helps with homework, God is not distant or aloof, but actively involved.

We see this expressed beautifully in Psalm 18:19 as David says of God:

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

When we receive His delight, we see how He is involved and how He is with us. As we receive God’s delight, we perceive God at work in the world around us. In many ways, this is the fruit of contemplation – to see God.

Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount by saying, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:3). The one who is pure in heart desires or delights in one thing. That “one thing” is God Himself. The pure in heart meet God’s delight with their own. Psalm 37:4 echoes this reality: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” We meet His delight with our own and we receive the desires of our hearts because our desire is Him.

To delight in God is to desire and to be involved with Him – to see what He is doing and to participate. When our delight meets His delight, we trust that He is at work even when we can’t see it. Often, we do not see what God is doing in the moment, or see what He is doing until later, but delight keeps us waiting.

We watch and wait with a sense of joy and freedom, because God is always delighting in us. Over time, as we learn to wait and watch, a spirit of gratitude and a sense of His love takes hold in our hearts. We see even when we don’t see. Thomas Merton observed, “To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us — and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.”

When our desire and delight is God, we see His delight. We see and know, “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” (Zephaniah 3:17). 

In this moment, take some time to see with the eyes of your heart. Quiet yourself before Him and delight in Him. Ask that you might see God’s delight in and around you.

Prayer: Lord, I receive Your delight. I trust that You are involved and active in my life and the world around me. May I see with Your eyes. Amen.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

As people of the first century heard the Father call Jesus “the Beloved,” something very specific would have come to mind. In the Old Testament, the word beloved is used 42 times and 26 of these are in the Song of Songs. 

The concept of beloved speaks to deep intimacy and knowing. The oneness of the marriage relationship is a picture of the oneness between the members of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Spirit) and the oneness between God and His people. 

We long for the intimacy of God. We were created with a need to be known, seen, and understood. In using the word beloved, God is saying: “I see you. I know you. I understand.”

Just before the people of Israel were delivered out of Egypt after 400 years of slavery, we read the following in Exodus 3:7-8a:

Then the LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heardtheir cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey.

This is an intimate description of God’s relationship with the people of Israel. They were in distress, and they groaned as they cried out for help. God saw them. He heard them. He knew.

As we walk through life, we may feel like we are all alone as we ask questions like: “Is there anyone who understands? Is there anyone who knows? Is there anyone who sees me?” When we experience such things, we can let God love us. He is always loving us. That is the concept of being His beloved. The invitation is to receive God’s seeing and knowing of us. 

How do we do that? The book Joyful Journey suggests that we engage the practice of using our imagination to hear God engage us with His love, utilizing the framework of Exodus 3 of being seen, heard, and known.

It can be helpful to journal this exercise. 

• We begin by considering our situation and imagine God saying, “I see that you (insert your current experience and perhaps the state of your soul).” 
• Next, imagine the Lord saying, “I hear what you are saying to yourself (insert the words, concepts, and ideas that are framing things for you).” 
• Then, use your imagination to hear God saying, “I know this is (insert how you are feeling) for you.” 
• Finally, hear the Lord saying, “I’m glad to be here with you and I can do something about what you are experiencing,” and then sit quietly, noticing what the Lord might be saying to you in this moment.

Quite often, we just don’t or can’t let God love us. We may pray about things and ask God to act, but being the beloved is an invitation to receive His love and see all that He is doing through a lens of being seen, heard, and known.

Will you let God love you?

Consider this poem “Let Your God Love You” by Edwina Gately:

Sit with Him, knowing that you are His beloved. As you sit quietly, let everything else fall away – thoughts, requests, words, feelings. In the “emptiness” before God, let His love for you, His care for you, move from your head into your heart.

Prayer: Lord, help me to sit quietly, still, alone, empty before You. I receive Your gaze. I receive that You know and understand me. Help me to receive Your love. Amen.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

As we think about who we are, our name is often one of the first clues to our identity. We are named by human parents with a last name that identifies our family connection and a first name that provides a unique identifier within that family. However, even these names fall short of what we need and desire. 

As God the Father says, “This is My Son,” He is stating something that could seem to simply be a fact, but it is so much more. He is defining the relationship that He holds with Jesus. God exists in an eternal relationship – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Before anything was made, God existed as One in three persons – a mystery which theologians have named the Trinity. The most fundamental reality of the universe is this relationship. Son of God defines and describes Jesus like nothing else. 

His earthly name, Jesus of Nazareth, tells of the town where his family is from as well as the name His parents gave Him. They were instructed by God, through an angel, to name Him Jesus (Matthew 1:22) or Immanuel (quoting from Isaiah 7). Both names describe His relationship to humanity. Our earthly names speak of our relationship to humanity as well.

“This is My Son” speaks to Jesus’ relationship to God the Father. When the Father looked at Jesus, His primary thought was not, “This is Jesus (God who saves) or Immanuel (God with us),” but, This is My Son.” Jesus’ “earthly” names are quite significant, but they speak more to what Jesus does than who He is. It is indeed notable that these words of Sonship were affirmed before Jesus had preached a sermon, healed the sick, or gone to the cross.

In the same way, we are called “children of God” (1 John 3:1). This is who we are. We may think of ourselves according to our profession, our family of origin, our gender, our past, or whatever else holds our attention, but the reality is that our relationship to God is the most real thing about us.

Is that how you think of yourself?  

Do you allow a role, a profession, a gifting, or even your behavior or choices in life to be what defines you? Sit with this for a moment and consider the question: Who am I? As you notice that things other than who you are as a child of God surface, gently release them and let them go. None of these things you might release are necessarily wrong or even incorrect on one level (some of them may be), but they are not who you are.

God not only names us son or daughter, but He also has a name for us that is unique to us. In the book of Revelation, Jesus challenges seven churches to repent and turn their hearts back toward Him. To the church in Pergamum, He promises that with their repentance will come “a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it” (2:17). To have a “nickname” like this is picture of intimacy and affection. 

Will you listen for the name God has given you? 

Take a few moments and sit in quiet with the Lord. Ask Him what He calls you. Wait and listen prayerfully. Perhaps you have asked the same question previously. If so, ask again and notice if there is something new or simply an affirmation of what you heard before.

Will you surrender to what God names you? Will you release other names or identities you’ve held tight in your grip? You may notice some resistance arise as you receive His name for you. Often, we have names that we received as children related to our bodies, our intellectual capabilities, our emotional life, or our actions. These can be difficult to release as they may have shaped much of how we interact with ourselves, others, and the world. In addition, as we allow roles, jobs, giftings, or callings to name us, we may have thought: Who am I if not this?

Sit for a few moments and quietly receive His name for you: son/daughter and/or perhaps what is written on that white stone.

Prayer: Lord, You have called me by name. Help me to release all other identities and names. I surrender to what You call me. Amen. 

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

We first see Jesus interact with the gaze of the Father at His baptism (Matthew 3:16-17).

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

As the Father looked at Jesus, what expression do you imagine was on the Father’s face? This may seem like an odd question, but it is vitally important. The look on someone’s face can reinforce their words as true or betray them as false. Because of the nature of the One spoke those words over Jesus, it would suggest a smile. God the Father was expressing the love and connection He experienced with the Son.

As you consider God’s gaze upon you, do you see a smile? Do you feel the warmth and grace of the words spoken? 

In the original Greek text, the words flow like this: This is my son, the beloved, in whom I delight. Three things are being said. All of them are important. All of them point to the connection between the God the Father and God the Son. Each word points to an aspect of the core human need to be securely attached. Attachment Theory uses the concepts of being safe, seen, and secure to explain what it means to be connected and loved. We experience this with someone who is consistently present in our lives (promotes the feeling of safety), caring and nurturing (promotes the sense of being seen), and actively responsive to us (promotes an awareness of security).  

In Christ, we are the recipients of God’s gaze as well. He looks upon us with a smile on His face and says, “You are my daughter/son (you’re safe with me), you are my beloved (you are seen and known), and you are a delight (rest secure; knowing that I am involved in your life).” Our response to this is Jesus’ contemplative rhythm: surrender, sit, and see.

What is most real about us is who we are in relation to God: We are “hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3), and we also are “called children of God” (1 John 3:1). We are safe, seen, and secure. However, it is possible that we do not see ourselves this way. We may know the verses in the Bible but not feel it in our bones. We may know the theology of God’s love but not experience it as we confront the realities of life. 

This is why contemplative practice is so important. When we are experiencing life in ways that lead us away from a restfulness in God, contemplation allows us to return. We simply notice afflictive thoughts and/or emotional reactions and we return once again to the gaze of God. 

However, it is also possible that we perceive God’s gaze not as a smile but perhaps some kind of frown or even a blank stare. It is possible that our core assumption is that God is disinterested or distant or judgmental. As you sit in the gaze of God – that quiet place where words are not needed – notice if your perception of God’s face is anything other than that of a loving, connected Father. If it is, release those thoughts and hear these words spoken over you.

This is my daughter/son, the beloved, in whom I take delight.

Memorize these words from Matthew 3:17. Make them your meditation today.

Let His gaze define you. Rest in it. Trust it. Another way to state it: Surrender to God’s gaze as the defining reality of your life; sit in your belovedness; and see God at work in you and around you.

Prayer: Lord, in your mercy, give me the strength to surrender to your voice, sit in it, and see myself and the world through it. Amen.

Week 1 | Contemplation: A Long, Loving Look at God

What we encounter in the context of contemplative prayer can be difficult. We may encounter unwanted thoughts and temptations. Old wounds may surface. Obsessive thoughts may come. The invitation of prayer in the inner room is to notice and release what may come, entrusting it all to the Lord’s care.

Just as Jesus encourages us to enter that “inner room” for quiet prayer, He teaches His disciples to be careful not to “heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words” (Matthew 6:7). There is a temptation as we pray to think that prayer is about controlling an outcome or making something happen. Jesus goes on to say: “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him” (v 8). We can trust that the releasing and letting go of thoughts and emotions in prayer are indeed met with God’s care. He holds us – all of who we are (thoughts, emotions, memories, actions, habits), and we experience freedom as we release control and wait in His presence.

Next, Jesus says: “Pray then like this …” and He offers the sublime words that we know as “The Lord’s Prayer”: 

First, we turn our gaze to heaven and proclaim that God is holy. He is set apart. He is like no other. This sets our desire on Him. In the following phrases we see the three aspects of Christ’s contemplative way: surrender, sit, and see (see the introduction).

Next, we ask for His kingdom and His will to happen on the earth (in our lives) as in the perfection of heaven. His kingdom is His presence and activity. His will is His heart or desire. We surrender ourselves to His presence and His desires in trust.

Asking for daily bread acknowledges that He provides for us daily. This reminds us of the provision of daily bread (manna) in the wilderness journey of the people of God in the Old Testament. They had enough for each day and were instructed not to take more than was needed. The invitation here is to see how God provides – to notice God’s work all around.

The request to be forgiven as we forgive roots us in the grace of God. We let go of our sin and we let go of the sin done against us. As we keep coming back to this place, we sit in the love of God.

Finally, Jesus invites us to pray that each circumstance we encounter would lead to deliverance from evil. The words “deliverance” and “evil” may feel a bit archaic, but they are powerful. Deliverance could be translated “save” or “rescue,” and evil is simply “that which is wrong.” In this context, where the desire is to contemplate the Father, evil is anything that draws us away from Him. The prayer is that we would see the temptations to live independently and instead experience rescue (deliverance) by the hand of our Father.

Slowly pray the Lord’s Prayer each day before you enter your time of quiet prayer.

Week 1 | Contemplation: A Long, Loving Look at God

Theologian Walter J. Burghardt, S.J. described contemplation as “a long, loving look at the Real.” Consider that statement for a moment. Each part. Long – contemplation is not at “drive-thru” speed but slow and patient. Loving – contemplation is relational, not transactional. Look – contemplation is about intuitive awareness, not intellectual knowing. Finally, the Real – God is the reality in which we abide in contemplation. 

As we turn (metanoia) to look at Him, we surrender to His gaze, we sit in His gaze, and then we see how He is with us and in the world around us. 

St. John Vianney, a 17^th century French priest, told the story of observing a peasant sitting silently for hours in the pews of a church. He asked him: “What are you doing all that time?” The man replied, “I look at Him, and He looks at me.”

In Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount, He shares that the Father sees us as we engage Him in that quiet prayer of the heart. Of course, God sees us all the time but Jesus speaks of a “seeing” that is about awareness and beholding. It is relational rather than informational. As we come to contemplative prayer, we rest in the awareness that God is aware of us. We behold the reality that He is beholding us. It is a shared awareness that could be called intimacy. This is why Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 2 that we share “the mind of Christ.” His awareness is accessible to us. 

We will explore the Father’s gaze further as we look at the baptism of Jesus, but the heart of it was a beholding in love. Jesus returned the Father’s gaze with His own. In John 5:19, we read: “The Son of Man can do nothing of his own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing.” This awareness of the Father’s activity only came by contemplation. Jesus lived in the gaze of God the Father, and acted from that gaze.

The 13^th century mystic theologian Meister Eckhart described what happens in contemplation: “The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.” Indeed, it is a picture of shared awareness or intimacy. Contemplation is not achieved as much as it received. We receive and experience what is already there in Christ. This can cut against much of our “religious” instinct to work for spiritual growth and development. The invitation is to show up to the One who has already shown up to us.

The noisiness of our world conspires against this contemplative way. Certainly, we are wise to pay attention to the presence of physical noise, our own internal noise due to wounds and compulsions, and even digital noise. However, the most difficult noise we can experience is the incessant drive to make something happen – to conquer – to achieve. This voice is in the air around us, seemingly accusing us if we aren’t “winning” at life. The soul is not conquered and tamed through effort and discipline. In fact, this is not even the goal. The goal is loving presence so that what is present might emerge. 

Parker Palmer beautifully described the soul and the challenge we face:

The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is to go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods, and sit quietly for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will catch a glimpse of the precious wildness we seek.

A common question we may ask is whether anything is happening in our practice of contemplative prayer. Unlike other spiritual practices where the “reward” is immediate and recognizable, contemplative prayer is more like putting money in an interest-bearing account. Over time is when the “magic” happens. Small things can blossom into a windfall with consistency and time. 

As in any relationship, the joy is in presence – simply being together. The invitation of contemplation is to let go of outcomes and expectations to simply be. As we learn to be quiet as it relates to outcomes and behold the One beholding us, we begin to see beautiful things emerge over time.

As you practice your quiet prayer today, notice when you want to race ahead or even finish, and instead simply wait in silence, perhaps repeating the prayer from Psalm 62.

Prayer: “O God, for you alone, my soul waits in silence.” Amen. (Ps 62:1)