desert direction

He occupies our hearts as we open (Advent week 4 day 1).

To receive the true gifts of Christmas, we release our hold on the gifts of this world. As we do that, we say “yes” to Christ. We welcome Him into our lives. Our hearts prepare Him room as we wait, listen, release, and now open ourselves to Him.

The Apostle John spoke of an initial receiving or opening to Christ in his Gospel: “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:9-13)

As we receive Him, we become children of God … a relationship in which we are secure. However, space in our hearts and lives is cultivated only as we continue to open ourselves to Him. The Apostle John writes the words of Jesus in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”

This verse beautifully speaks of “preparing Him room.” As we listen and open, we have the opportunity to experience life with Him. The tragedy is that we often don’t hear that knock, but He is gracious and patient so He keeps knocking. Our lack of hearing comes because we “say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing.” (Rev. 3:16) Jesus goes on to say we don’t realize we “are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.”

It is our need and living in that need that opens the door of our hearts to Him. For many of us, there are perhaps those desperate times in life when we come to God out of “need” as a sort of last resort. However, we usually don’t experience Him because room hasn’t been prepared in our hearts. At those times, we want His gifts but on our own terms. The sense of need isn’t really for Him but for our lack of those “other things.” Experiencing the gift of “God with us” means that we open ourselves to Him because we are empty … we are waiting and listening and releasing … ready for Him. Frederick Buechner describes the battle for our hearts:

“Power, success, and happiness, as the world knows them, are his who will fight for them hard enough; but peace, love, joy, are only from God. And God is the enemy whom Jacob fought there by the river, of course, and whom in one way or another we all of us fight – God, the beloved enemy. Our enemy, because, before giving us everything, he demands of us everything; before giving us life, he demands our lives – our selves, our wills, our treasure.”

The verses in Revelation 3 go on to describe that God offers true riches, true worth, and true vision in the context of relationship with Him. Our great longings in life tend to be centered around lesser versions of those three things and consequently our sense of need is for material riches and earthly significance and worldly wisdom. To open ourselves to the true gifts of Christmas requires that we live with a sense of emptiness and longing for Christ Himself.

We can fool ourselves into thinking that we are releasing and letting go but still not be opening ourselves to Him. Oswald Chambers suggests:

“If a person cannot go to God, it is because he has something secret which he does not intend to give up— he may admit his sin, but would no more give up that thing than he could fly under his own power.”

Are there places in your life where you readily admit your sin but are still believing that this sin can satisfy you? Release your belief in satisfaction in anything other than Christ and feel the emptiness. Only when we feel the emptiness of life apart from satisfaction in Him do our hearts have the space for Him to occupy. C. S. Lewis famously challenged:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Today, set aside some time to practice the spiritual discipline of emptiness. Sit quietly and rest in Him. As your thoughts wander, bring them back to that place of rest by praying Revelation 3:17: I am “wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked” without Christ. As you feel the “desire” of your thought system go to other things, don’t try to control your thoughts but simply come back to that simple prayer. Take at least 5-10 minutes for this exercise.

Note: throughout the day, you can practice the discipline of emptiness when you feel various impulses or preoccupations by opening yourself to Him as you pray Revelation 3:17 and/or pray this prayer:

Father, I open myself to you. Letting go of all else, I come to you with empty, open hands. I entrust myself to You, believing that true riches, true worth, and true vision come only from You. Yes, Lord, have Your way in me. Thank You for Jesus who redeems me from the pit of self and into the joy of You. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 7).

It’s tragic so that we can be so filled with knowledge and yet not know God. After Jesus was born, the wise men arrived in Jerusalem and asked about the coming king, the Messiah. The religious people in Jerusalem knew the answer. They knew the Bible verses. What they had missed is that Jesus had been born only six miles away in Bethlehem. Jesus had been born right under their noses and they missed it.

They were so busy that they missed God’s interjection of Himself into the world. We can get so busy that we miss all those moments every day when God is interjecting Himself into our world. Those who stop to notice see Him everywhere and experience Him in all things. Paul affirms this in Romans 8: “God works in all things for the good.”

It can be so difficult to see! Our hearts can be so full of “other things” and our perception clouded by our knowledge. In one sense, knowledge can actually blind us. The logic is this: if we know, then we can get busy doing what we see and choosing what we believe is right. However, God is right in front of us and all around us … desiring to be “with us” … and we miss Him. Anthony de Mello builds on this theme:

“The fact is that you are surrounded by God and yet you don’t see God, because you ‘know’ about Him. The final barrier to the vision of God is our God concept. You miss God because you think you know. That’s the terrible thing about religion. That’s what the Gospels were saying – that religious people ‘knew,’ so they got rid of Jesus. The highest knowledge of God is to know God as unknowable.”

Knowing God as unknowable puts us in a place of humility in which we slow down enough in our hearts, minds, and body to perceive Him. The paradox is striking. When we think we know, we miss Him. When we acknowledge that we do not know, we begin to see. Our knowledge has a place but it must be submitted our actual experience of and seeking of God in all things.

So, how do we live in this place of knowing that we don’t know? Let’s review our reflection over these first three weeks of Advent. We wait (because we don’t know), we listen (because we desire Him as opposed to simply knowing about Him), and we release (because we understand that we hold ideas and grudges and sin and selfishness in our hearts).

Waiting, listening, and releasing form a pattern for how we can approach our relationship with God. This pattern of prayer humbles us, softens us, and expands our ability to see and know Him. If we are going to “prepare Him room” as a lifestyle and not simply a lyrical response for a few weeks each year, this pattern must be woven into the fabric of our lives. Henri Nouwen suggests that:

“Becoming the beloved is pulling the truth revealed to me from above down into the ordinariness of what I am doing from hour to hour.”

In 1 Thessalonians 5, we find a verse that is both beautiful in its simplicity and perplexing in its challenge: “pray without ceasing.” The following verse says that this is God’s will for us. It is His desire, His heart for us. If we see prayer as a list of requests or a duty, then this command of God sounds burdensome. However, if we see it as God’s heart for us to know and experience Him throughout our day, then it is a powerful call to a different way of living. If we “know”, then prayer is a chore. If we “don’t know”, then prayer is an adventure into life of exploring and seeing Him in all things.

Today, experiment with “unceasing prayer.” Seek to stay in a place of connectedness with God. As you approach each element of your day (each conversation, each decision, each challenge), begin with simple waiting as you stop and acknowledge Him. Next, ask Him to speak into your situation and respond with listening. Finally, respond with releasing as you let go of self and see Him.

Sound like it might slow down your day? Then, you’re getting the idea. To live in rhythm with God and His ways means slowing down. In our modern world, that sounds like quite a sacrifice and it is, but it is worth it. It is worth it because we stop missing all those moments each day when He is beautifully at work in us and through us and around us.

Begin your adventure “prayer without ceasing” by starting with a few things each day and grow from there. Take the prayer below and put it in your own words:

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 6).

When Jesus, the Messiah, entered into human history, He did so in an incredibly quiet and vulnerable manner. Indeed, could it have been any quieter? He was born into a poor, common family in an out of the way place. He wasn’t born in the most important city of his country. He wasn’t born in the most important country in his region. He was born in a country that was under foreign occupation.

Why were things so quiet? Why didn’t He come with fanfare and publicity and Messiah written across the sky in flashing lights? All would have been possible but not consistent with God’s character. He never forces Himself on us. He will not demand …

The Scriptures tell us that wise men (magi) came to the Christ child (Matthew 2:1-12). They were not, however, on the scene the night Jesus was born. They showed up at some point in the first two years. The wise men saw a star from their homes in the East (likely Persia) and discerned that it was a king. Notice that Jesus’ birth and its significance was lost on those who were much closer, those who knew the prophecies of Scripture. These wise men noticed … they saw what others did not. And then, they listened to what they saw and came to worship. We don’t know a lot more about the wise men, but The Magnificent Defeat, Frederick Buechner, imagines what might have happened to the wise men: (as told by one of them)

“But why did we go? I could not tell you now, and I could not have told you then, not even as we were in the very process of going. Not that we had no motive but that we had so many. Curiosity, I suppose: to be wise is to be eternally curious, and we were very wise. We want to see for ourselves this One before whom even the stars are said to bow down – to see perhaps if it was really true because even the wise have their doubts. And longing. Longing. Why will a man who is dying of thirst crawl miles across sands as hot as fire at simply the possibility of water? Why will a man labor and struggle all the days of his life so that in the end he has something to give the one he loves?”

“I will tell you two terrible things. What we saw on the face of the new-born child was his death. A fool could have seen it as well. It sat on his head like a crown or a bat, this death he would die. And we saw, as sure as the earth beneath our feet, that to stay with him would be to share that death, and that is why we left – giving only our gifts, withholding the rest.”

“And now, brothers, I will ask you a terrible question, and God knows I ask it also to myself. Is the truth beyond all truths, beyond the stars, just this: that to live without him is the real death, that to die with him is the only life?”

Indeed, it makes sense that the wise men saw the jealousy of King Herod and his murderous plans to kill any children within the age range of Jesus, and thought: “we’re out of here.” What they didn’t understand is that we find true life when we let go of our perceived sense of life. How often do we come with our gifts but leave with our life, as we know it, intact? Jesus said, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:24)

The word “save” speaks of protecting and holding on and “losing” speaks of letting go. The irony of “protecting” what we perceive to be “life” is that we will miss out on what is “truly life.” We have a tendency to hold on to all kinds of things (things that we think we control) to give us life. The paradox of Jesus’ statement in Luke is that we are actually imprisoned by that which we cling to for life … they slowly kill us. He alone gives life in the freedom of relationship with Him. It is a life that is free because He does all the “holding” and we are free to use our hands to love Him and others. We are free to enjoy what is, not live imprisoned by what is not. We are free from needing anything because in Christ, we have everything.

Ignatius of Loyola wisely offers:

“Detachment comes only if we have a stronger attachment; therefore our one dominating desire and fundamental choice must be to live in the loving presence and wisdom of Christ, our Savior.”

Jesus won’t pry our hands off of our life. He invites us to let go (to detach) which will happen as we have a vision for what is better. We struggle because we have mixed emotions about what we cling to for life. We have mixed emotions about what Jesus says is life (Him alone). Alan Jones shares that:

“The task of love is … to lay us bare, to set us free. But we love the prison-house. The plan of bondage is, at least, familiar. Love, then, comes as an unwelcome shock. The very thing we think we want, we dread.”

Jesus models this way of “detached” living in Philippians 2 …”though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,  but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” Two observations and two questions flow from this text:

1. His “equality with God” was not something He “grasped” or literally, “used for his own advantage. Jesus’ most significant personal reality (His deity) was not something that He used for Himself. How do you view the “strengths” of your life (and we all have them)?
2. He “made himself nothing” or literally, “he poured himself out.” Jesus let go of his life so that he could love. What do you need to let go of?

Sit with those questions and ask a good, gracious Father who only wants to give life.

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 5).

“They shall call his name Immanuel which means, God with us.” (Matthew 1:23)

Jesus was born so that the truth of “God with us” could be reality in each of our lives. The very essence of life is “God with us.” We were created to be with God. Our lives are full and meaningful when we are with God … doing life with Him. It is an intensely relational reality and we are relational beings!

Sin is doing life without God. It is exactly what Adam and Eve did in the beginning. They decided to go it alone and that “stance” led to the act of doing what God had told them not to do, eating the fruit. We engage in sinful acts when we decide to go it alone. We can stay in this “stance” and act out of it. However, Christmas and the coming of Jesus into the world means that we can do life from a “God with us” stance … depending upon Him. If we have entered into a relationship with God through trusting Jesus Christ as Messiah, “God with us” is the fundamental truth of our lives. However, we may not be living in that truth … it may not be our fundamental experience. Living in that reality (which is the deepest desire of our lives) requires releasing.

When we are living independently, our hearts are small. We have those protective walls up because what is most real is our pain, our separation from God, our loneliness. So, we act in what we believe is our best interests. Note: it is acting out of what we believe and our self-interest. When we move into the reality of “God with us,” our hearts expand and we are able to act out of love for God and others. Again, it requires a releasing. We have to let go in order to experience what is most true about us in Christ.

The writer of Hebrews challenges us “if you hear his voice, don’t harden you hearts.” This speaks to listening, but he also talks about the releasing that happens after we listen to the call of God. When we are captured by the vision of the “God with us” life, we are listening and our hearts soften. Next, comes the releasing:

But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (3:13)

What is the deceitfulness of sin? Think of it this way: if sin is the stance of living independently of God, then the deceitfulness of sin refers to beliefs we hold about the benefits of doing life independently of God. The reality is that we are only truly happy when we are doing life with God. So, we are encouraged to let go of the erroneous beliefs that tell us “you will be happy if _________.” True joy is not dependent upon doing something, being something, or having a specific circumstance in our lives. It is our reality that we experience when we let go of all else but this gracious gift of God with us.

What beliefs about what will make you happy do you need to release? Here’s a list of potential “deceitfulness of sin” statements:

I will be happy if I do good things.

I will be happy if I feel loved.

I will be happy if I feel admired.

I will be happy if I feel unique.

I will be happy if I can be competent.

I will be happy if I can have security.

I will be happy if I can be content.

I will be happy if I am in control.

I will be happy if I am at peace.

St. Ignatius spoke to this challenge to release when he said:

“It is necessary that we become indifferent to all created things so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what helps us praise, reverence, and serve God.”

How do we become indifferent and therefore open to the true joy of an expanded heart that can hold the love of God and others? We release. How do we know what to release? Pay attention to your emotions because they are reliable indicators of what we believe will make us happy. As you notice agitation, restlessness, unhappiness, loneliness, or anger, ask yourself what you are believing will make you happy.

Begin with the list above and prayerfully ask God for insight into your life. It may come quickly or you may have to stay with it for a while. What are your “deceitfulness of sin” statements? Next, ask the Lord to make you aware of your emotions throughout the day. When you notice something, stop, release, and pray this Psalm:

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Psalm 73:23-26

Releasing begins with a fundamental belief that life is only found in a “God with us” life and an understanding that we are in need of that life. We need to release and let go of old ways of thinking.

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 4).

As we continue to walk toward Christmas in this season of Advent, we are wise to consider how Mary prepared room in her heart for Messiah. Mary was challenged to make room in her body to carry the Christ child, but it started with her heart. Mary was not an unwilling participant but she asked questions and pondered what it would mean to welcome the divine into her life in such a personal way.

We are invited to make room in our hearts for Christ as well so that we might display Him for the world to see. For Mary, she was approached by angel and immediately she began to consider the nature of what was going on. The angel called her “favored one” and Luke 1:29 says that “she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.” The idea of “troubled” meant that she was not taking this lightly and understood that something significant was happening. Next, the angel shares that she will become pregnant and bear the Messiah. Rather than jump for joy at being chosen, she begins to realize the cost and ask questions. She realized that this would mean her world being thrown upside down.

How often do we fail to count the costs? We jump right in with joy at the prospect of God being at work in our lives and don’t ask the appropriate questions. Certainly, there is joy but we have to consider and ponder what it will mean to make room in our lives for Messiah. Mary asks the simple question: “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” (Luke 1:34) More than a simple logistical question, I wonder if Mary was also considering: “What will this do to my reputation? Am I going to have to let go of my hope to get married and have a family?” Mary had to let go of her identity as a good young girl who was preparing to be married. We know from later accounts in the Gospels (cf. Mark 6:3, John 8:41) that people questioned the legitimacy of Jesus’ birth as they hinted at him being born out of wedlock.

Part of making room in our hearts for Christ is releasing our identity. We may see ourselves for what we are: teachers, doctors, builders, mothers, fathers, nurses, writers, caregivers, waiters, sons, daughters, spouses, etc. We might also see ourselves for what we are not: married (or, happily married), parents, gainfully employed, well-off, appreciated, etc. The list can fluctuate from season to season but whenever our identity is in anything but Christ first, we will struggle in making room for Him in our lives. We were not designed as human beings to hold on to any of these other identities for what gives us a sense of worth or strength or love. Christ will always get crowded out or reduced to simply helping us find our worth in these other identities. We are invited to let go, to release, these other places where we might find our identity.

Mary received that invitation and she said:

“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

We were created to live with a sense of identity in Him … relying upon Him to be our deepest sense of worth and strength and love. When we choose to see ourselves primarily in light of some other identity, we are running from our created design. Especially during the Christmas season, we can struggle with not feeling love or worth (perhaps even descending into the pit of loneliness) as we look at everyone else’s “perfect” Christmas cards.

Henri Nouwen, in speaking about identity, offered this:

“Your true identity is as a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it and settled in it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God.”

He goes to say to say that we often allow others to become a part of our basic identity and we feel that we cannot live without them …

“But they could not fulfill that divine role, so they left you, and you felt abandoned. But it is precisely that experience of abandonment that called you back to your true identity as a child of God. Only God can fully dwell in that deepest place in you and give you a sense of safety. But the danger remains that you will let other people run away with your sacred center, thus throwing you into anguish.”

To prepare that room in our hearts, there are identities that we must release. Today, as you walk through your day, ask the Father to make you aware of those places and times when you are resting in some identity other than as a child of God. Emotions can often be our clearest clue that our identity is in something other than Jesus. It begins with trusting that you were made for something deeper than being in a certain relationship or having certain things or doing certain things. As you are aware of identifying with anything other than Christ, simply stop and proclaim, “I am a child of God, safe and secure and loved in Him.” This allows the releasing to begin, and as you release, He is able to inhabit your heart in ever deepening ways.

Begin now, take a few minutes and ask the Father to show you those “other identities” that you may be holding. And, then take a few minutes and put the following prayer into your own words:

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 3).

The Christmas story is one of joy and peace and hope. We see those words sprinkled around in the decorations of the seasons, but they describe the end of the story instead of the beginning. To get to the end, we always have to start at the beginning. The key word that describes the beginning is incarnation which speaks of Jesus coming “in the flesh.” This is clear form John 1:14: “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.”

But, why is this significant? Because it means that Jesus came to get His hands dirty … to live in the mess of this world. By living in the midst of it, He was able to bring joy and peace and hope. And, what does this mean for us? Along with incarnation, the other words that would be more helpful would be invasion and infiltration. He came to invade our lives and go behind enemy lines. It’s hard to see such an intensity in the small hands and tiny feet of a baby, but it’s all there if you look hard enough.

The question we have to ask ourselves is: will I let Him in … past my lines of defense? As we learn to listen to Him, we begin to trust as our hearts are softened. Then, the next step of trust is to release. Will I release myself to Him? Will I let Him have His way?

It can get tricky because He is not a demanding, severe God and we can mistake His gentleness for nonchalance as we say “It’s not that big of a deal if I hold on to this one part of my life.” Is He gracious and patient? Yes! But, it is a big deal. As we release and let go, we find life … His life unfolding inside of us. Do you have a vision for what this life might be like? The great C. S. Lewis suggested the following:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Is there a part of your life to which you are clinging? Is there something that you are not releasing? Are you holding up the remodeling project? Often, we are resistant to God’s plans but we aren’t even fully aware. How do we know if there are parts of our lives in which we are resisting? There are three primary ways we resist:

1. We can act like everything in our lives is okay. (denial)
2. We can compare ourselves to others and proclaim that we’re not that bad.
3. We can talk about theological truth but keep it abstract.

The gracious remodeling project is ongoing in this life. Jesus desires to keep expanding and growing the capacity of hearts so that we might experience more and more of Him. The Apostle Paul talks about us being “filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:19) That is the hope! That is the vision.

What do you need to release? What wall do you need to let Him knock down? Start with resistance. Pray and ask God to show you places where you are resistant. As you see it, release specific control as you pray: “My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I am not my own because I was bought with a price.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Today, as you walk through your day, pray this prayer as the Spirit brings it to your mind:

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 2).

Expectations have a way of shaping our perception of reality. And, most of the time we are unaware of our expectations. We wear expectations like a pair of glasses that filter out what we don’t want and lock in on what we do.

Most people missed the entrance of Jesus into the world because He came in a very unexpected way. He was born in a feeding trough for animals in a cave behind an inn for travelers. It was very uneventful. In the same way, Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem as an adult was equally unexpected.

“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he,
humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.” (Zechariah 9:9; Matthew 21:5)

Most would have expected the King to come on a horse (a symbol of victory and power). Additionally, the birth of a King, one would think, would be in a royal family with pomp and circumstance. There were actually rumors throughout Jesus’ life that he was born illegitimately.

Today, we can miss the work and presence of God in our lives because we expect. We expect that God would work in this way or that way. It might be that we don’t expect suffering. In fact, we expect “blessing” that looks like ease and pleasure and good times. Then, when suffering is present, we have no way of seeing God at work. Or, it could be that we expect people to treat us a certain way and when they don’t, we can’t imagine that God could be in it. The list could go on, but expectations have a way of blurring our vision. Further, they can shift our hearts to a dark place. Gerald May made the observation that “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” Our hearts don’t see what they want to see and consequently move into a place of bitterness.

Do you find yourself bitter or resentful about anything in your life? Notice the counsel of 1 Peter 5:6-7: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” How do we humble ourselves? By trusting God with our anxieties. The issue is not the bitterness (the need to humble oneself) per se but the anxiety underneath it. Anxiety is the internal struggle created when expectations don’t match experience.

Releasing expectations is essential if we are going to move into all that God desires for us. Anxiety has a way of shrinking our hearts so that there is not room for God. Physically, we may even feel muscle tension or shortness of breath. As we release expectations, our hearts expand and are able to hold whatever is and however God is involved. Meister Eckhart observed: “God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.” As we subtract expectations, we suddenly have room for God. We don’t do this by trying to control our anxiety and expectations but by “releasing” them (“casting all your anxieties”). We can do this because He cares about us. We can let go because He has plans and ways that are loving and gracious and wise and perfect.

Expectations are best discerned by looking at our anxieties. Spend a few minutes prayerfully asking: “what am I anxious about?” Then, consider: what are the expectations underneath that anxiety? Once you’ve identified the expectation, release it as you simply pray: Father, I know you care so I let go of my grip on this version of reality. Meditate on 1 Peter 5:6-7 and repeat this exercise as you are able throughout the day.

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.

He expands our hearts as we release (Advent week 3 day 1).

Advent … a time of waiting and longing and desire. We live into this season of the church calendar in order to fully experience our deepest of desires which is for Messiah. We were created to live moment by moment in the satisfaction of relationship with Him. So, as we pay attention to that desire, it makes possible the experience of that desire. Frequently, we live at the surface of desire, toying around with things and people and activities, when infinite joy is ours. This joy is found in the depths of our being. We learn to wait so that we discover Him anew. We learn to listen so that we begin to trust Him. Now, we learn to release all other desires so that we experience inner healing.

We all have the tendency to put up protective walls around our hearts. When we experience hurt or disappointment, there is a natural instinct to say “never again” and we put up a protective wall. This hardens our hearts … it shrinks our hearts so that we’re don’t put ourselves “out there” to be hurt all over again. Consequently, there is not room to live and move and breathe freely. We live at the surface of desire because our hearts are small and crowded with all the protective artillery of an army ready to defend at a moment’s notice. At one level or another, this is the human experience. This explains why we struggle to live at peace with others. It explains why we get hurt so easily or lash out so frequently. Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us there. In Christ, we are brought into God’s family with the opportunity to experience renovated hearts.

How does this work? In Psalm 119:32, the writer declares: “I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!” An enlarged heart is one which is free to run after God with abandon. This is the work of God in our lives as we learn to release and let go of all but Him. In John 10, we learn more as Jesus speaks of being our shepherd and leading us as we listen to His voice. Where does He lead us? Jesus adds to the shepherd image as He says:

“I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

The picture of salvation here is bigger than simply being saved from hell (although it includes that). It is an image of being able to move in and out of the sheep pen … finding our sustenance in “abundance.” Jesus says that this abundance of life is possible. It is also possible that we listen to the voice of the thief. What is that voice? It is the voice that says: “You’re on your own. You better protect yourself because no one else will.” It is the voice that says: “You can’t really live a life with God. That is for others, not you.” It is the voice which says: “You should just do whatever you want, because this life with God can’t be trusted. God is just trying to control you.” Jesus says it is the voice of a thief because he wants to steal and kill any hope that is present. These voices of the thief of the very reason why we have protective walls in our hearts. These voices of the thief explain why our hearts are often so small.

As we begin to listen to His voice, we will hear Him say: “Come back … return … let go … release.” In Isaiah 30:15-16, God graciously calls His people to a place of renewal. Notice the words that are used.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling, and you said, “No! We will flee upon horses”; therefore you shall flee away; and, “We will ride upon swift steeds.”

The word “saved” speaks of being delivered and rescued by God in this life. We experience that as we return to Him. The word “return” could also be translated as repentance. Repentance is one of those words which has been turned into a harsh word screamed by preachers. However, repent is one of the most beautiful words known to man. It makes sense that the “thief” would distort the word in our thinking, because “repent” is a word which speaks of return and renewal and rejoicing. We repent when we let go of finding our strength in anything but Him. Notice that the people of Israel were unwilling because they wanted to put their trust in horses. To our modern ears, it sounds quaint and strange but horses were the ancient symbol of power and strength and wealth. If one had a horse, they could travel or flee danger or pursue their dreams. God offered Himself but the people wanted horses. We are often in the same place. God offers Himself but we want (you can fill in the blank).

Finally, God also says that it is in “quietness and trust” that we are strengthened. God graciously calls us to let go, to release all else but Him. The problem is that we can feel very weak. In quiet, we listen and learn to trust because letting go can feel like death! That’s because letting go involves a kind of dying. The great writer and woman of God, Elisabeth Elliot said, “Many deaths must go into reaching our maturity in Christ, many letting goes.” Brother Lawrence commented that:

“The heart must be emptied of all other things, because God will possess the heart alone; and as He cannot possess it alone without emptying it of all besides, so neither can He act there, and do in it what He pleases, unless it be left vacant to Him.”

As we walk this mortal coil, we often feel that paradox of desiring God and yet desiring other things. The beauty of learning to release and let go is that God graciously invites us to let go. He doesn’t force us. He desires for us to come with open hands so that He can fill them. And, this is a process that goes on day by day as He invites us anew. It’s a relationship that has to be nurtured and He doesn’t overwhelm. He leads us one step at a time. The paradox will be there and it’s ok because He is never all we want until He is all we have. Jesus alone is the hope of the Gospel and it’s where He is leading us … open fields of abundance.

What do you need to release today? Don’t worry about all that you need to release but what is it today? Quiet yourself before Him and simply ask, “Father, what shall I release today?”

Father, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I want to live in You alone. I confess this is my deepest desire and yet I have other desires. Today, give me the courage to let go. Give me the strength to repent. Give me eyes to see those places of strength to which I cling that I might release all to You. Thank you for Your patience and grace and leading in my life. Enlarge my heart. Amen.