Week 4 | Surrender: From Anger to Stillness

After the Beatitudes and other introductory comments, Jesus zeroed in on the heart. In a religious culture where outward practice and adherence to the law was paramount, Jesus knew He had to get past the surface to help people live contemplatively – to rest in the gaze of God. In our world today, we also frequently choose to focus on what is outside of us rather than the vulnerability of an open heart. 

Jesus started with anger in Matthew 5. He addressed murder, lust, divorce, lying, and retaliation with a common phrase, “You have heard that it was said … but I say to you.” Jesus went past the outward action, right to the heart. External obedience, saying the right things, and even believing the right things can be protective measures to keep us from our hearts.

For example, in Mark 10:17-22, Jesus honored the wealthy young man for keeping all the commandments, but He wanted his heart. The Gospel says, “And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, ‘You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me’” (v 21). As Jesus lovingly looked at him, He invites the young man to his heart – to a place of surrender. Jesus lovingly challenged him to let go of what his heart was holding onto, which was wealth, and give Himself to God.

The text goes on to describe the man’s response: “Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions” (v 22). How often is this our story? Pause for a moment and consider things that your heart holds on to for dear life.

It is Jesus’ love that implores us to let go – to surrender. He knows that life is experienced in the fullest as we live in the gaze of God. When our hearts hold on to things for control, we’ve turned from His gaze.

In Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus exposed the real issue of control which is anger. We become angry when we cannot control things. This is a primary anger. We can also become angry as a secondary response to protect ourselves from deeper, more vulnerable emotions like grief, shame, and fear. This is about control as well. The reality of anger (either primary or secondary) is in all the other examples Jesus brings up in this part of the Sermon. Rather than seeing murder, lust, divorce, lying, and retaliation as a list of things to stay away from, Jesus referenced them more as “examples” of how we can try to control things. 

Jesus started with anger (or, the issue of control) because it is the first line of defense in our hearts. If we release our anger, our hearts open and we can experience God’s gaze in our shame, fears, griefs and our hurts. In the contemplative path of Jesus, surrender is the first movement.

Jesus taught, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). It was not a new law that Jesus was offering but a pathway to the heart. If there is an issue of anger or control that can reconciled, Jesus invites us to pay attention to our heart. We may come with an outward “gift” for God, but not have an open heart. We may erroneously think that we can shut down our heart in one area and leave it open in other areas. However, Jesus invites us to consider that compartmentalization is an illusion. 

Anger does not always express itself in the stereotypical ways of shouting and fighting. It can also come through more passive aggressive means. The invitation to leave one’s gift at the altar is an invitation to stop – to stillness. From the stillness, we are able to open our hearts to the gaze of God. 

Often, much of what we do in life is engaged as an effort to control outcomes. Anger is a signal to us that something feels out of control. As we experience anger, we are invited to stillness as the psalmist writes in Psalm 46. Against a backdrop of war and chaos, God calls us to “Be still, and know that I am God.I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Being still opens space for knowing God, and this further invites surrender.

Pause for a few moments of stillness. Once you feel your body, mind, and heart relax into the stillness, recall a time in which you found yourself angry. Hold that scenario before God’s loving gaze. Ask Him if there something you were trying to control or perhaps other emotions you were trying to deny.

Prayer: Lord, help me to enter the stillness of surrender. Still my body, my mind, and my heart. Help me to dwell there. Amen.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

In the wilderness, lurking around every corner are the temptations to go our own way and rely on our own resources and perspectives. Deliverance is also abundantly present. Our good Father leads us into the wilderness not for temptation but for deliverance … deliverance from all those things that direct our gaze away from God.

We need discernment. What helps direct our gaze to the Lord and what distracts us or creates resistance in us?

In the early 1500’s, Saint Ignatius of Loyola formalized a prayer of discernment known as the Examen. It can be practiced in a variety of formats, and the most basic is this:

Traditionally, the Examen is prayed daily and at the end of the day. However, it can be prayed anytime throughout the day. And the Examen can be prayed over any time period (a specific situation, a week, a month, a year). Additionally, the review can focus on noticing a variety of things in our life with God. It can be more general – anything the Lord brings up in our listening, or it can be specific to something like “living in His gaze.”

Seek to pray the Examen daily over the next week with this focus. What is important is to notice and be aware. Notice without judgment. Often. we can live on “auto-pilot” and having an awareness of these things brings them to a place where we can begin to choose with God’s strength and mercy. 

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

Jesus’ wilderness experience deepened His contemplative way. After He experienced what we experience in those three definitive temptations, He emerged with a heart to teach and share with His followers. The repeated references to Jesus preaching about the kingdom of God bear witness to this. “Repent for the kingdom of God is here” (Matthew 4:17) was an invitation to live in His presence … His gaze. 

As He ministered, a crowd began to form (Matthew 5:1) and He began to teach what has become His most well-known sermon. The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) reflects what He learned in the wilderness about living in the gaze of God. The Sermon reflects the contemplative rhythms of the baptism and the temptations.

As a review, we’ve seen:

Jesus begins with an introduction that describes what is means to be “blessed” in the Beatitudes; He goes on to share about the effect that “blessed” people have on the world, as salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16). “Blessed” is another way to talk about what we experience as we live in the gaze of God. A blessing, at its core, is whatever draws us closer to His gaze, or presence. In the Beatitudes, Jesus explains that this is the exact opposite of what you would expect. Living close to the heart of God happens as we are poor (in spirit), mourning, persecuted, meek, etc. From here, Jesus walks through three contemplative rhythms of surrender, sit, and see as He discusses how we are drawn away from it: anger, shame, and anxiety. Not that anger, shame, and anxiety don’t have a role in our lives, but living in them does not push us further into the gaze of God. 

Notice how this lines up in Matthew 5-7:

As Jesus challenges us to look at our anger, our shame, and our anxiety, he is leading us into the gaze of God. We will be invited to surrender to God as we notice ways that we try to control; to sit with Him as we see how we desire to be celebrated; and to see as He sees when our impulse is to get certainty.

To walk into these areas of life is not easy. It means that we will confront the false-self which are ways that we have learned to navigate life on our own. We will be challenged to reflection, introspection, and quiet prayer. These best happen with some measure of solitude or getting off the scene as Jesus did. Henri Nouwen commented, “Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self … Jesus himself entered into this furnace. There He affirmed God as the only source of his identity.”

As we move into the study of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, follow Him in trust … trusting that He knows the way to freedom and life and fullness. When Jesus said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light,” He meant it. Can you trust that as you follow His contemplative path? We may proclaim the theological reality that His way is easy and light, but He invites us to experience it.

For the next few moments, assess where you are right now. Are you experiencing the easy and light way of Jesus? Sit with that question. Notice without judgment where you are today. Is there anything to release? How can you rest in His love? Is there anything He is bringing to your awareness right now?

Prayer: Lord, You are good. I am grateful. I trust in Your way. Help me in those places where unbelief still tries to take hold. Amen.

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

In each of the first two temptations, the enemy questioned Jesus’ core identity by saying, “If you are the Son of God” and then went on to attack His belovedness or the delight of the Father. Here, the devil goes straight for the throat of Jesus:

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve’” (Matt 4:8–10).

In this final temptation, the enemy does not challenge with “if you are the Son of God, then why don’t you _______.” He learned that his trickery got him nowhere. He simply offers Jesus all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. We can imagine the less than glorious state that Jesus was experiencing in that moment. Tired. Hungry. Holding on through the temptations. This temptation was “tempting” because it was an invitation (false as it may have been) to end all the suffering. 

Jesus had experienced the pain and danger of the wilderness, and He had also seen the pain caused by the kingdoms of the world. The people of Israel were under foreign occupation by Rome. Rome taxed the people and used the people and land for their own gain. This was happening all over the world. Jesus had been sent into the world, taking on a powerless, humble, and vulnerable form. Is it possible that as Jesus felt His own powerlessness to the extent the offer to stop all the pain was a real temptation? Is it possible that His heart of compassion was drawn into the mix and the tempter thought that in a weak moment, he could get Jesus to cave?

We are often tempted to exert power in similar ways as we mull over, “If I could do this or that, I could stop people from being hurt. I could stop hurt from coming to me.” The lust for power often starts in a place of compassion and concern. However, invariably, seeking power hurts others and our souls are compromised. 

At its peak, this temptation looks like this: If I were God, I would ________. Henri Nouwen suggested: “What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.”

At the heart of this temptation is the desire to define ourselves by what we do. Our abilities and strengths can become the focus of our lives. Our identity may center around how we secure certain outcomes. When we are not able, we get angry.

Rather than reacting to the tempter, Jesus responded simply with the words, “You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.”

In 1 Samuel 7:3, we read: 

And Samuel said to all the house of Israel, “If you are returning to the LORD with all your heart, then put away the foreign gods and the Ashtaroth from among you and direct your heart to the LORD and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.”

In Deuteronomy 6, we find the words of the first part of Jesus’ response followed by: “You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you” (v 14). In the Old Testament, people worshipped and bowed down to “gods” who promised certain outcomes: a goddess of fertility or a god of war. Our temptation is the same. We look to ways we can control life and make it bend the way we think is best. 

Jesus’ response demonstrates the contemplative foundation of releasing outcomes. To worship God alone, we are invited to trust that being His son or daughter is enough. We humbly surrender to God and all of who He is: His wisdom, strength, power, love, and mercy. We let go of any false gods which promise control.

What false gods are you tempted to worship? What do you believe will give you a sense of control? Can you let go and trust that God is lovingly holding your life?

For the next moments, in the quiet of surrender, ask the Lord if there are idols to release. As you notice and see what you desire to release, put these things in God’s hands and hold out your empty hands before Him. You might repeat this several times.

Prayer: Lord, I surrender to Your goodness and grace. I release my compulsion to secure outcomes and trust that You are more than capable to lead my life. Amen. 

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,“‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and “‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test’” (Matthew 4:5–7).

In this second temptation, the enemy once again asks Jesus to “prove” Himself: “If you are the Son of God …” Again, this temptation was relevant to where Jesus found Himself. He had been in the desert for 40 days – all alone. 

In this temptation, the tempter is targeting God the Father’s declaration that His Son is beloved. The internal questions that frequently surface are: Does anyone care? Am I seen? Do I matter to anyone? What do I need to do to get people to show up for me?

We live in a world where it can feel like we need to prove ourselves in order to receive love and affection. It may have been ingrained in us at an early age. “If you are a good little boy/girl, you can have dessert.” “If you clean up your room, you can have a friend come over to play.” Seemingly innocuous statements can set a foundation of seeing love as something we earn through good behavior. We learn how to think of ourselves in terms of how others are receiving us.

The specific temptation here is to define ourselves by what others think of us. If the enemy could shift Jesus’ gaze away from the Father, he may have been able to tempt Jesus to prove that He was worth the Father’s love. In the challenge to “throw yourself down” from the pinnacle of the temple, he was asking: Don’t You trust that God will show up?

So too, we often use the language of God “showing up” or not showing up. Jesus does not. His response to the temptation was to say, “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.” More specifically, we might insert the word “love” to say it is the “love of God” that we do not test because that is what the enemy was challenging. The reality is that God is always present with us. His presence does not come and go, and it is not earned.

In Jesus’ response, He referenced Deuteronomy 6:16: “You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested him at Massah.” Massah is a Hebrew word that means “testing” and it was at Massah in Exodus 17:1-7 that the people tested God as they quarreled with Moses. They asked two questions: “Did you bring us out here to die?” (v 3) and “Is the Lord with us?” (v 7)

When we are in a wilderness time or space, it can feel like we are not going to make it and we may ask that first question. It is the second question that reveals the heart of the matter: Is God even with us? God’s love is His presence with us. One way the enemy works on us is that he arouses doubts like, “If things hurt this bad, is God even with me?”

The contemplative foundation that carried Jesus through this temptation is that God is always present, always loving us. Therefore, whatever happens, we can see it through the lens of His love and presence. There is no need to do anything drastic like jumping off the temple to prove His love.

Our hearts often want to get some proof or an assurance of His presence and love. So we complain and use the word “if.” We might engage in some variation of the phrase, “If God really loves me, then _______.” When we believe this way, we are vulnerable to doing things to be seen by others.

The invitation in this temptation is to sit – to rest in His love. We return to His gaze in which He calls us His beloved. We hear Him say, “I see you and I know you. I understand you.” We release the questions in trust. We are delivered from the cycle of needing to prove ourselves and/or needing God to prove Himself. His love holds us. He is always present with us. He is always loving us.

Quiet your heart and simply rest in His love. As you notice distracting thoughts or even a resistance to sitting in His love, allow those thoughts to simply pass – not needing to fight them or resist them. Notice the ways that God is present with you and loving you. 

Prayer: Lord, please calm and quiet my soul, like a weaned child with its mother. May my soul be like a weaned child within me. Amen. (Psalm 131:2)

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

Jesus encountered three specific temptations that questioned and contradicted what He heard from the Father at His baptism. In each response from Jesus, we observe foundational elements for living in God’s gaze – for living contemplatively. The enemy frames the first temptation as a challenge.

And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written, ‘”Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matt 4:3-4

The tempter tries to throw Jesus off by suggesting that if He was really the Son of God, He should prove it. Certainly, as Jesus was experiencing hunger, the “proving” was relevant to His current situation; turning the stones to bread would have been a demonstration of being God the Son. 

The first temptation targets Jesus’ living as God’s delight. God’s delight in us means that He is involved and will provide for us. Without saying it directly, the tempter was questioning why God’s provision was not present. So, Jesus is tempted to take matters into His own hands, and to depend upon Himself and His gifts to satisfy His hunger.

Jesus had the resources to take care of Himself, but He responds by quoting Deuteronomy 8:3 in which God gave His people manna in the wilderness so they would have to depend upon Him. In the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6), Jesus invites us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” as an expression of depending upon God for what is needed.

So too, our tendency is to define ourselves by what we have – to use our resources to take care of ourselves on our own terms. In Philippians 2:6, we are reminded that Jesus did not use His position as God the Son to His own advantage but took the identity of a servant.

When Jesus says that He “does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God,” He is affirming that He serves God the Father. What moves and motivates Jesus is what He hears from the Father. While we can understand that “every word that comes from the mouth of God” is a reference to Scripture, a fuller understanding is that Jesus listened to the Father in prayer. 

This temptation means that we try to amass things (finances, positions, reputation, power, etc.) in order to find a sense of security. The invitation as we notice this temptation is to return to the gaze of God. In the gaze of God, we see His delight and that He provides what we need. At the heart of God’s provision and delight is the ability to listen for His voice and His heart in all things.

In John 4:34, Jesus shared with His disciples, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” In other words, what sustained Jesus was the heart of God, because someone’s “will” and “work” istheir heart. Indeed, Jesus lived by every word of the Father’s heart. In this, He was able to see what the Father was seeing. 

Is your food (what sustains and satisfies you) the heart of God? 

What satisfies and nourishes us determines what we see. As we return to the gaze of God, we see Him, and we see what He sees. As we see with His eyes – with His heart – we are delivered from evil. We are delivered from living independently and on our own terms. As we see, we receive an awareness of God’s delight and provision. “God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing.” (Psalm 23:1 MSG)

Take a few moments and prayerfully assess what satisfies and sustains you. Do you have a tendency to define yourself by and rely upon what you have like money, gifts, talents, resources? Whatever you discover, release your independence and return to the gaze of God as your food.

Prayer: Lord, I am asking You for one thing–that I may dwell in Your house all the days of my life, to gaze upon your beauty and to meditate in Your temple. Amen. (Ps 27:4)

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

Jesus had heard the voice of the Father at His baptism, and now in the wilderness a different voice was speaking. 

For Jesus, this testing of His connection with the Father was met with being in His gaze: He surrendered to His Father’s plan for Him (“You are My Son”), sat in His love (“the beloved”), and saw the Father’s provision for Him (“in whom I delight”). Scripture companioned each part of Jesus’ response: worship God alone; do not put God’s (love) to the test; and man shall not live by bread alone. 

What helped Jesus in these times? The contemplative practice of discernment. He was able to abide in the gaze of God because He discerned the voice of the enemy and let go of that which wasn’t true. This would not have been easy. Jesus had been alone and had not eaten for forty days.

The Scriptures invite fasting for a variety of reasons: grieving, mourning over our sin, seeking God and His guidance, and preparation. Moses fasted for forty days before receiving the Law (Exodus 34:28), as did Elijah before encountering God at Horeb (1 Kings 19:8). And so, in preparation for His public ministry, Jesus also fasts. 

After Jesus fasted for forty days, He would have certainly had significant physical weakness and discomfort. And many people report a mental and emotional clarity that comes with fasting. Undoubtedly, Jesus’ fast prepared Him for the discernment needed to encounter what He did in the wilderness.

Jesus’ discernment was rooted in Scripture and fueled by fasting. Not eating during that time was a physical, bodily fast; so too, there was a fast of sorts in the landscape and situation. The desert itself was a release of comfort, and the silence and solitude offered there was a release of the noise of the world. Thomas Merton explains: “The Desert Fathers believed that the wilderness had been created supremely valuable in the eyes of God precisely because it had no value to men … It offered them nothing. There was nothing to attract them. There was nothing to exploit.”

As we dwell in a wilderness place (whether of our choosing or not) where we are offered nothing of value, we are stripped of our ordinary resources and left open to God. This aids in our discernment because the noise of the world and voice of the enemy can get mixed up with our legitimate needs. Satan’s temptations to Jesus were all rooted in real needs: the need to be secure, the need to be seen, and the need to be safe. 

When the enemy offers us solutions to our needs, it can sound like a logical way to approach things. It would make sense that we use our resources and strengths to turn stones to bread if we are hungry, but discernment helps us see that this is not living in God’s gaze. With discernment, we are able to distinguish other voices from the voice of the One who calls us by name.

As we encounter temptation, we are invited to slow down into a spacious place in which to listen and be attentive. In a world where we like things fast and even value having other people tell us what to do and how to do it, discernment requires a personal, full-bodied participation.

In the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:8-11), God led Adam and Even into discernment when He asked three questions:

• “Where are you?”
• “Who told you that you were naked?”
• “Have you eaten of the tree?” 

These three questions form a beautiful framework for discernment. When we find ourselves pondering a situation, we start with asking: Where am I? We consider the state of our soul, our body, and our mind. Second, we ask: Who is talking to me? We examine the source of the thoughts or voices coming our way. Third, we ask: What will satisfy me? God asked, “have you eaten from the tree?” to invite an examination of how they had sought to meet their own needs.

Even more basic is to ask this question: Am I experiencing the love of the Father right now? Do I sense the nearness and presence of God?

When we ask these questions (which may often take some time to answer), we can experience freedom because we either stay in the gaze of God or step back in. We return to the voice of love. And so, when we practice discernment, the wilderness becomes a place of deliverance and redirection. Additionally, as we encounter any longings, can we redirect them to God? And as we stay with that longing, we come to know that all our longings are met in Him.

Consider a current difficulty, temptation, or confusion. Ask these questions of discernment.

Prayer: Father, lead me not into temptation, but may the wilderness be a place of my deliverance to live in Your gaze as I listen to Your voice of love. Amen.  

Week 3 | Wilderness: From Temptation to Deliverance

In Hebrews 5:8, we are told that “Although he was a son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.” In what sense did Jesus have to learn obedience? If we understand obedience relationally, obedience is not merely outward action, but the inward action of trust and love in which we honor (obey) another person. The word “responsive” could fit here as well. Jesus learned responsiveness through suffering. 

In His humanity, Jesus needed to nurture His connection with the Father. He needed to strengthen and reinforce His responsiveness. This happened through suffering – through being tested.

In Matthew 3, Jesus was baptized and His connection with the Father was affirmed as the Father spoke from heaven. Then, in Matthew 4:1-11, we observe that “Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” Jesus’ time in the wilderness was not pleasant and it was also not accidental. The text says He was hungry, and in Mark 1, the presence of “wild animals” is highlighted. In addition, Mark 1 pushes further the idea of being “led” (from Matthew 4) by saying that He was “cast out” or “pushed out” in the wilderness by the Spirit.

Hunger, isolation, danger, and weariness deepened Jesus’ identity and human experience of God the Father. The wilderness is a place of transformation – a place of deliverance. In the wilderness, each part of what was affirmed at the baptism was challenged and tested.

The enemy’s temptations took each part of Jesus’ connection and questioned it.

The enemy was seeking to stir up anxiety, shame, and anger with the three temptations. Of course, Jesus responded beautifully and did not fall for the deception. Anxiety would have led to breadmaking. Shame would have led to a jump. Anger would have meant kneeling down to the enemy. Jesus models a way for us as we encounter what we confront in the wilderness.

It is in the wilderness–times of suffering or disorientation–that we experience those same three temptations. This is the enemy’s pattern for all temptations which is to move away from the gaze of God. We see it in Genesis 3 with Adam and Eve. The tempter brought disorientation as he said, “Did God actually say …?” Notice the parallel with Matthew 4:

• “the tree was good for food” – “command these stones to become bread”
• “a delight to the eyes” – “throw yourself down (from the temple)”
• “make one wise” – “to be given all the kingdoms of the world”

It is in the wilderness that our reliance upon anything other than the gaze of God is brought to the surface. We may be unaware of ways we are looking elsewhere. The wilderness brings it out. We are challenged in the deep places of our soul. Questions arise, doubts surface, loneliness emerges. And, we experience pain It is at the margins –in the wilderness places – that we learn obedience (responsiveness) to the gaze of God. 

If we allow ourselves to feel the temptations and to confront them, we can be quite uncomfortable. We often choose avoidance, denial, and distraction from the harsh places. Jesus models attentively walking through the wilderness – as we abide in the difficult place. He did not run. We can try to run from suffering, or we can receive it. God won’t force us to enter the school of His love when we suffer, but He does invite us. We receive (or, welcome) suffering when we abide with God in what we are experiencing.

And we welcome the wilderness because we know it is for our deliverance – our learning to live in the gaze of God. Indeed, as we abide with God wherever we are, any wilderness becomes a place of deliverance rather than simply a place of temptation. This is at the heart of what Jesus taught us to pray in the Sermon on the Mount.

Take a few moments today and prayerfully notice: Are there things in my life that I am avoiding, denying, or distracting myself from? Ask God what it will look like to abide in Him.

Prayer: Lord, I welcome everything that comes to me to today because I know it’s for my healing. I let go of my desire for control, approval, and security. I let go of my desire to change anything. I open myself to Your love. Amen. 

(adapted from The Welcoming Prayer, Thomas Keating) 

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

The contemplative rhythm of Jesus leads us to embrace a posture of listening. Ultimately, listening is more about our perception and awareness than about audibly hearing something. It’s about seeing what God sees. When we come to the quiet place with God – that inner room of the heart – we surrender to the voice of God that names us, we sit in our belovedness, and then we see what God sees as we trust His provision.

We wait.

Listening prayer is attentively waiting before God to receive whatever He gives, keeping your heart open to whatever God says. If He seems quiet, you might receive that as His desire to simply to be with you – not needing to share anything except His loving presence. 

It can be helpful to remember that listening prayer is about relationship, not performance, outcomes, or controlling the agenda. If you notice any of those things, simply let them go. Things “happen” during and because of listening prayer but it is often not obvious. Much of how we experience God is deeper than even our awareness.

Practice: set a timer for 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes. Enter the time by simply praying a Scripture such as:

“Speak for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:10

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Sit quietly and keep your heart open. At the end of the set time, review what you noticed. You can’t do this wrong, so simply notice with gratitude.

As you close, give thanks.

Week 2 | Connection: In the Gaze of God, Matthew 3

The heart of living in the gaze of God is actively listening to Him. Many of us were discipled in a “belief-centered” system in which becoming more and more grounded in theology and doctrine is what it means to follow Christ. While not taking away from the importance of theological belief, it is important to note that the contemplative way of Jesus is a “relationship-centered” system.

Relationship is about interaction, giving, receiving, and listening. Theology provides a discernment and is necessary, but it is not the point. It is one thing to know cognitively that God loves us, and it is another to hear Him say it to us. In fact, we only become grounded in the love of God when it becomes an experiential, relational reality.

As we engage in listening prayer, we are listening in on God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) loving us. Often, we sense His love. Other times, we hear, “I love you.” Still other times, it is the sound of silence (cf., 1 Kings 19:12) that holds the space.

Listening to that voice of love requires intention, time, and space. While we can access God’s voice at any time, learning to listen well occurs as our “powers of discernment (are) trained by constant practice” (Hebrews 5:14). The process can be difficult. In The Inner Voice of Love, Henri Nouwen commented on what it is like to listen to God’s voice of love: 

It will take a great deal of time and patience to distinguish between the voice of your wounded self and the voice of God, but as you grow more and more faithful to your vocation, this will become easier…

Our vocation is to live in the gaze of God. This is our first and primary calling. The voice of our wounded self describes the ways we are tempted away from the gaze of God and instead to look for what He gives us in other places. Next week, as we look at the temptations of Christ, we gain discernment regarding the voice of the wounded self. 

Our wounds can lead us to having a protective, closed heart. For many of us, hurt, pain, and disappointment have led to a self-protective posture. Because of hurt, we make promises to ourselves: I’ll never open my heart to someone, I’ll never be poor, I’ll never be a victim, I’ll never be looked down on, etc. Our wounds become the spokesperson for our lives, and we make decisions and chart courses based on own woundedness rather than the love of God. 

Listening to that voice of love requires us to have an open, soft heart. The writer of Hebrews (quoting from Psalm 95) three times implores the reader:

Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts …  (3:7-8, 15; 4:7)

This verse assumes that God speaks and that we can listen. If we are going to listen, we are implored to keep our hearts open and receptive. In this moment, is your heart open to God’s voice? Are there things that have hardened your heart? 

Take a few moments and talk to God about the condition of your heart. Ask Him and then notice what He brings to your awareness. As you become aware of anything causing hardness, surrender it to God. Place it in His hands. After working through what God brings to your attention, sit quietly in trust.

Prayer: Lord, I open my heart to You. In Your mercy, help me to keep an open heart that is willing to listen. Amen.