Read the Psalm

Life is hard. As the last lines of this psalm confess, we often find ourselves in a place where we are weary. We feel like we’ve “had more than enough.” More than enough broken relationships, more than enough disappointment, more than enough visits to the doctor, more than enough … of so much. What makes it even harder is there seems to be people who are at ease all around us … people who seem to look upon us with contempt.

Once again in these Psalms of Ascent, we are invited to lament. We are invited to acknowledge that things are not as they should be. Life is difficult and people around us make it even harder with a lack of understanding and a disposition of condescension.

Acknowledging this may feel like it is off limits for a follower of Jesus. We may have been discipled to think/believe that we always have to be positive and joyful about everything. Such acknowledgements may feel like complaining but they are not complaining if they are directed to God. Approximately half of the prayers in the psalms are prayerful complaints (or, laments), and we are invited to pray this way. God invites us to feel what we feel … with Him in prayer.

As we look at the face of God and become more attentive to His ways, we deepen in our faith that He is good and He is present. As a result, lament filled prayers are pleas for mercy. God is the one who can grant mercy, or help. At its core, mercy is help in time of need. The confession found in Hebrews 4:15-16 gives this a fuller context: 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Even though we often feel like we want to pull away from God when we are struggling, God invites us to draw near. Then, as we lament, we get the help we need. Jesus understands the struggle. He knows what it is like to be misunderstood, to be abused, to be spoken ill of, to suffer deeply at the hands of others. In all of that, He did not turn away from the Father but kept turning toward. This is the meaning of the words: “yet without sin.” Sin is a turning away from God in our heart that results in sinful behaviors. This is why the heart of faith in Christ is about turning to God the Father again and again. It is not about behavior per se.

The prayer of Psalm 123 connects looking to the Lord and mercy. As we look to His hand, we put ourselves in a place of dependence upon Him. With an open, dependent heart, we are also opening our hearts to mercy … or, His help. This is why the psalmist prays: “so, our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us.” There is a waiting and a dependence upon God for His help. 

His mercy comes in the form of His presence and His love. As a result, we wait and we watch.

Reflection questions: Spend a few moments reflecting on the connection between a dependence stance and the reception of mercy. How might you put this prayer for mercy into your own words? 

Prayer: Lord, I need You. Help me. Have mercy upon me. You are my hope so I wait and I watch. Amen.

Read the Psalm

As we gaze upon God, our trust in His love deepens and matures. Our hearts move from seeking God for what we might receive from Him toward seeking God to join Him in His life. Take a moment and consider that the God who is enthroned in the heavens invites us into His life. 2 Peter 1:4 says that we are “partakers of the divine nature.” Another way to say this is that we are participants in the life of God! The invitation in this reality is to attentiveness.

Jesus describes this way of attentiveness to the Father in John 5:19-20 as He was questioned about healing on the Sabbath and calling God His Father:

“So, Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing.”

Do you see what Jesus models for us? His movements, His actions, and His words all flowed from reflecting what He saw God the Father doing. The underlying theological assumption here is that God is at work in this world. There is a flow of His love that we are invited to enter by responding to what we perceive Him doing. Our gaze moves from one of adoring His beauty to attentiveness to the ways that beauty is expressed in the world: love.

This is the prayer at the heart of Psalm 123. “Our eyes look the Lord our God.” How? As the eyes of a servant (male or female) look to the hand of the master. A servant watches to notice how the master is moving and what the master is doing. In many ways, a servant seeks to anticipate the master so they can walk in step with the needs and desires of the master. 

Of course, God is not like any earthly master. His ways are good and pure and kind. And, He does not force Himself upon us. He does not demand. He invites. Like a good Father, He desires His children to join Him. He longs to simply “be” with us and for us to be with Him. 

Our previous (old) ideas of God may have envisioned God as one to simply be pleased or obeyed but this image of watching the Father’s hand and how it moves is like Jesus’ “seeing” of the Father. We are invited to participate. Take a moment and think through what it would look like to join God relationally. Sit with that for a moment. 

As we look attentively at the hand of God, it transforms us from independent beings to dependent. We move as He moves. We speak as we sense what He is speaking. We go where we see Him going. As St. Ignatius wrote: “Undertake nothing without consulting God.” When we are living independently, we move where we think we should go and do things in our own power, wisdom, and understanding.

Our transformation from independent to dependent happens in the context of relationship. It is not through direct effort that we live in dependence but through attentiveness. Richard Foster describes this beautifully in his discussion on spiritual practices:

“We cannot by direct effort make ourselves into the kind of people who can live fully alive to God. Only God can accomplish this in us … We do not, for example, become humble merely by trying to become humble. Action on our own would make us all the more proud of our humility. No, we instead train with Spiritual Disciplines appropriate to our need … By an act of the will we choose to take up disciplines of the spiritual life that we can do. These disciplines are all actions of body, mind, and spirit that are within our power to do … Then the grace of God steps in, takes this simple offering of ourselves, and creates out of it the kind of person who embodies the goodness of God.”

Perhaps, close your eyes and imagine that you are sitting with Jesus. Together, you are watching for the hand of the Master. Stay in this place of attentiveness for as long as you would like.

Reflection questions: What stirs in you as you consider a life of attentiveness? participation in the life of God? What did you notice as you sit attentively with Jesus?

Prayer: Lord, to live a life of attentiveness to Your hand at work in me and in the world … that is my desire. May I deepen in my attentiveness to You. Amen.

Read the Psalm

With the God of heaven as the vision through which we view ourselves and others, that vision deepens as we learn to gaze upon Him. As He increasingly becomes the focus of our gaze, we experience transformation. Professor and theologian James Houston observed that maturity in the spiritual life could be described as “unintentional self-forgetfulness.” Stop and ponder that for a moment. Isn’t that what our hearts long for? To be so captivated by the glory and goodness of God that we cease thinking of ourselves. 

There is an appropriate and healthy sense in which we engage in self-reflection. Consider the encouragement to ask God to search our hearts (Psalm 139) and the admonition to examine oneself (2 Corinthians 13:5). However, the essence of life is love and the heart of love is to let go of a self-referential existence and self-focus. This occurs as we learn to gaze upon God.

The prayer in Psalm 123 begins with a declaration: “To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens!” The possibility as well as the joy and pleasure of seeing God’s face is a consistent theme in the Psalms. In Psalm 27:4, we read: “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD  and to inquire in his temple.” The word “inquire” could also be translated as “meditate.” And His beauty? What makes Him beautiful? His love.

1 John 3:2-3 describes: “Beloved, we are God’s children now and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes purifies himself as he is pure.” This seeing is focused on His love as the previous verse in 1 John suggest: “Behold the nature of the love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.” You are His child. The way that a parent looks at their child in their arms merely scratches the surface of comprehending His love.

Seeing or gazing upon God’s love for us is our transformation into self-forgetfulness. Theologian Jonathan Edwards wrote: “The pleasure of seeing God is so great and so strong that it takes the full possession on the heart; it fills it brimful, so that there shall be no room for any sorrow, no room in any corner for anything of an adverse nature from joy. There is no darkness that can bear such powerful light.”

There is a full, unhindered sense in which we will experience this “seeing” in the eternal realm, and there is also a sense in which we see God now as we learn to gaze upon Him. In Numbers 6, the blessing of Aaron speaks of the effect of seeing God’s face. “The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance and give you peace.” This gazing upon God’s face (seeing) is described in Ephesians 1:18 as knowing or perception: “having the eyes of your hearts enlightened that you may know.” This is a work of the Spirit who give us the perceptual ability to know God’s love which is the focus of our gazing. (Romans 5:5)

Author Martin Laird suggests that “Our self-forgetful gaze on God is immersed in God’s self-emptying gaze on us, and in this mutual meeting we find rest.” The invitation is to look at God loving us, and as we orient our lives around this love, we begin to see His presence as our home, in both this life and the world to come. 

So, how do we embrace a life of gazing at the face of God? If we enlist the help of Psalm 27, we might say the following:

1. Make gazing at His face the focus of your life (“one thing I will seek”)
2. Slow down and stay in His presence (“that I may dwell”)
3. Simply gaze at His beauty (which is His love)

There are no short cuts or quick fixes … only slow, determined dwelling in His presence to look at Him day after day. As we have been reflecting in examen, we sit with the question: how is God loving me? We wait for the answer as we gaze upon Him.

God graciously gave us the capacity for imagination so that we can “see” with the eyes of our hearts, so that we can experience the love of God as we simply close our eyes and look to the “One enthroned in the heavens.” Its why we sing songs with words like: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

Reflection questions: Are you slowing down enough in order to see God’s face? What is God inviting as you consider this prayer in Psalm 123? 

Prayer: Lord, may I see Your face and therefore know You love. May this seeing lead to a place of self-forgetfulness as I abandon myself to Your love. Thank You for loving me. Amen.

Read the Psalm 

Experiencing and knowing God’s presence is everything. To be in the house of the Lord is the joy beyond all other joys. It is the essence of life. 

As the prayer of Psalm 122 unfolds, Jerusalem becomes the focus. Jerusalem, of course, is where the temple (the house of the Lord) had been built. Just as Jesus quoted from Isaiah to say that it was a house of prayer for all people, the words of this psalm point to this reality as well: “a city … to which the tribes go up, the tribes of the Lord.” Perhaps, mention of this particular city brings up thoughts and ideas of current geopolitical realities or even idyllic notions of a golden age long gone. The reality is that God had a plan for this city that has never been fully realized. 

As the psalmist extols Jerusalem as a city “bound firmly together” (the idea of security and stability), there is an awareness that it struggles in its mission. Just as war and deceit plagued the land (see Psalm 120), Jerusalem was under threat of the same. When the struggles for power, strength, and control take center stage, the vision of Jerusalem presented in the Scriptures as a place where all are welcome and all can come is in jeopardy. So, there is a prayer for peace. In other words, “may this place which represents the presence of God in its fullness be a place where there are not obstacles and distractions.” 

The final verses of the psalm make this clear: “for my brothers and companions’ sake” and “for the sake of the house of the Lord our God, I will seek your good.” There was a desire to protect and preserve this place of knowing and experiencing God’s presence and love. It was not a political statement but a practical one. It is possible for people to be so wounded and distracted that accessing God is really difficult. In this sense, we pray for peace for others as Paul did in Ephesians 3:14–19:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Notice the repetition of the word strength. Strength, peace, and security is vital if people are going to connect with God. God in His mercy meets us wherever and however we are, and yet there is a practical reality that many struggle to trust God and comprehend the depth of His love because they are distracted by an empty stomach or the lies of the world. 

Do we have a vision for people to experience the love and presence of God that includes peace? Is God Himself the vision we have for ourselves and the world around us? We can be distracted or even resistant to the ways of God, and the invitation is to adopt a lens through which we look at the essence of life as living in His presence – His love. 

The hymn “Be Thou My Vision” beautifully illustrates this:

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me save that thou art.
Thou my best thought by day and by night;
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Hold in your awareness today the vision of God alone as everything. Offer a prayer for peace for others who are seeking Him.

Reflection questions: Take a moment and walk through your day with the lens (vision) of the Lord as everything. What do you see? What arises in the awareness of your heart? How does God as your vision shift things for you?

Prayer: Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart; naught be all else to me save that Thou art. Thou my best thought by day and by night; waking and sleep, Thy presence my light. Amen.

Read the Psalm

Joy reorients us as we journey home toward deepening intimacy with God and the experience of His love and presence. It is toward joy that the Psalms of Ascent turn in Psalm 122. “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!’” Simply the idea and thought of being in the Lord’s presence brings joy. In this, we might see an invitation to meditation … meditating on the glories of being with Him. The pilgrim had not yet arrived in Jerusalem but this prayer is expressed as a current reality.

Joy is transformative. It transports us into what can be in the future. The pray-er of this psalm prays, “Our feet have been standing within your gates.” We can experience the fullness of the future to a degree in this present moment. Psalm 16:11 tells us that “in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” We are always standing in the presence of God even as a fuller experience of that presence will be coming. Jesus often referred to eternal life (or the kingdom of God) as being a present reality (Luke 17:20-21; John 5:24; 6:54; 1 John 5:11) while also acknowledging that there is a fuller experience of His presence in the future (Luke 23:42-43).

Joy or gladness is a sense of being content and satisfied. In a world where contentment can feel quite elusive, Psalm 122 leads us to see clearly that contentment and satisfaction are found in the house of the Lord. His presence. His love. His goodness. This is joy. 

In Psalm 4, the prayer follows a similar pattern to the Psalms of Ascent, acknowledging distress and then moving to joy: “You have put more joy in my heart than when their grain and wine abound.” Amidst opposition and discouraging circumstances, joy is a defiant stance. Joy says: no matter what things may look like, there is something more, something deeper. And joy is a gift … placed in our hearts by the Lord. How do we access this gift? For the one praying Psalm 122, it is through the imagination as we see ourselves standing inside the gates of Jerusalem.

In Hebrews 12:1-2, Jesus focuses on joy as a part of His journey and it is represented as a model for us as we are on our own journeys:

“ … and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

There was joy set before Him. Certainly, there was nothing in the immediate circumstances that was joyful in and of itself. There was nothing that would have brought pleasure, but Jesus meditated on the joy to come. What was that joy? The joy of “giving his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45) What will occur in the future brought joy in the present time of affliction. 

As we walk forward on our journeys and experience fear, uncertainty, and doubt, our temptation can be to try to find solace in the moment. Often, there is none but we frequently have “muscle memory” (reactions) that lead us to seek joy in our own efforts. We may want to look to things that help us fight or flee from the present or perhaps even to numb ourselves. However, meditating on what will be can infuse the present moment with joy. As I see myself near to God, even as I feel far away, I am brought into the reality that God is with me even now as well as the future.

The invitation of joy (practicing joy) is to live in the larger reality of God’s nearness. As we encouraged to rejoice always in Philippians 4, it is based on the truest truth in the universe: “the Lord is near.” (verse 5) Near! He is not far away. As we practice joy through meditating on God’s presence, we know His nearness in a way that goes beyond intellectual comprehension. We know it in our bones, to the core of our being.

Reflection questions: Take a few moments to meditate on God’s presence, using your imagination to perceive the fullness of being in His presence. Next, notice how He is with you right now.

Prayer: Lord, I choose to practice joy … to courageously see myself in Your presence … knowing that You are near even now. Enliven my imagination. May the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight. Amen.

“We’re all just walking each other home.” Rumi

Share with at least one other person what has been shaped in you as you begin this journey. Share your desires for the journey and what you are noticing about yourself in relation to God’s presence with you.

If meeting with a group, walk through some of the reflection questions and share together. What is your prayer/desire that you might hold before God after these first days of Walking Home? Share with the group and pray for one another. 

Take a walk with God and use your imagination to envision the reality that God is with you. Reflect on your gratefulness for the previous week as well as your desires for the coming week. Express those reflections to God in prayer or simply walk in silence, knowing that He is present and aware of all your reflections. 

Check out the song below which expresses some of the themes from the previous week …

Take some prayerful time today to review the week and savor the goodness and grace of God with you. Engage the following questions as an examen for the week. In addition, engage in a creative exercise: write a poem, paint a picture, plant a flower, stack some stones, etc.

The examen each week will center around discernment, desire, and dwelling. 

• Do I have a sense of where I am? Or what is the state of my soul? (discernment) This question is important so that we are meeting God where we are and not where we’d like to be or think we should be. 
  • What do I want? (desire) We examine our desires because desire is the foundation for a life of seeking God’s heart. We may have desires we do not want or desires that are less than a desire for God, but we ask this question to notice how our desires are being shaped, reshaped, and deepened. 
  • How is God loving me? (dwelling) In the house of the Lord (which is prayer), we experience God’s love. Noticing the ways God is loving us deepens our awareness of and connection to dwelling (abiding) in God’s loving presence. 

Take some time with each of these questions … perhaps journaling your responses. Slow down and notice.

Where am I? (the discipline of discernment) 

What do I want? (the discipline of desire) 

How is God loving me? (the discipline of dwelling)

Prayer: Lord, thank You for walking with me as I notice You shifting and shaping my heart in times of disorientation. In Your mercy, may I continue to grow in desire and the capacity to stay vulnerable to Your love. Amen. 

Creative Exercise … engage in something that gives expression to your experience this week. Consider sharing this with someone, or keep it between you and the Lord. *Note: you may think, “I’m not creative.” However, it may be a muscle you’ve just not exercised. Creative expression allows us to embody what we’re experiencing with God. Talk to God about what creative expression might look like for you.

Read the Psalm

As we look to the Lord in contemplation, we move from a place of reactivity to responsiveness. This may be experienced as vulnerability. Because we may have spent many years holding reactive, protective stances in relation to others and the world around us, letting them go may leave us feeling naked.

The remedy to getting lost in our vulnerability is looking more intently toward the God who holds our vulnerability. The last four verses of Psalm 121 provide a beautifully intense picture of God as our keeper. Note how many times the word is repeated in these verses for emphasis. The word keeper could also be translated guard. In the ancient Hebrew, it was often used to speak of guarding or protecting a flock or guarding in a military sense. Additionally, this word was used as God encouraged His people to keep or guard the commandments. 

Again, we observe the initiating, relational nature of God. He invites us to guard and keep what is important to Him (His heart as expressed in the commands of Scripture) just as He guards and keeps what is important to us. The “right hand” referred to in verse 5 speaks of a place of honor and significance. So, giving shade or protection to our right hand means that He protects what is important and significant in our lives. In Psalm 16, we read that God’s right hand is a place of joy and pleasure.

And, this guarding and keeping of our lives is comprehensive. It touches everything, He is with us both day and night as well as our going and coming at all times both present and future. If you can think if any time or situation, His keeping of our lives is in play. There are no limits to His protection in the external world and none in our internal world either. He guards our lives (vs, 7) which is the word, nephesh, denoting the soul or totality of one’s life – mind, heart, strength, and body. 

This may evoke thoughts of Psalm 139, “Where shall I go grom your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” The gracious answer is no where and David continues by giving thanks that God created Him (vv. 13-16) and thinks about Him (vv. 17-18). We are held in God’s awareness because He loves us. He guards and keeps what is important to His heart.

Being vulnerable and opening ourselves up can feel counterintuitive and yet it is the way to that we move toward intimacy in relationships. In our relationship with God, there is no substitute for vulnerability. If we are not vulnerable, we are holding part of ourselves from God. In a book written almost 50 years ago, Henri Nouwen made the observation that: “The spiritual leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in the world with nothing to offer but his or her own broken and vulnerable self.”

Most often, vulnerability is forced upon us. It is not something we choose. However, we do get to decide if we will respond in trust or shut down our hearts to the care and affection of the Father. This was the choice that confronted the Apostle Paul as he struggled with some kind of disorienting affliction. He asked God to take it away but was left with these words from God: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9)

As we choose to embrace vulnerability, we encounter the sufficiency of God’s love. His love is enough for us. It is powerful enough to meet us in our weakness, our distresses. We may stumble a bit as we open our hearts to trusting His presence and love, but continued willingness to be vulnerable reorients us to the path home. Home is His presence and the more vulnerability we allow, we deeper we are able to rest in His presence and love.

Reflection questions: How do you experience vulnerability? What is it like to choose to stay in vulnerability even as other voices vie for your attention? Beneath the counter-intuitive nature of vulnerability, what is your desire?

Prayer: Lord, in Your mercy, help me to embrace my vulnerability and need as I journey through this life. Thank you for inviting me to rest in Your love. May that be true of me today. Amen.

Read the Psalm

Our looking to the Lord for help is deepened with an invitation is to contemplate (notice the word “behold” in verse 4). We find the word behold through the Old and New Testament writings and it connects with the reality that what we put before our eyes is what shapes us. In Psalm 101:3, King David prays: “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes.” (NASB) This is coupled with verse 2 says “I will ponder the way that is blameless.” Then, this is contrasted with those who slander, have arrogant hearts, and practice deceit.

In 2 Corinthians 3:18, we read: “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” Author and theologian William McNamara defined contemplation as “a long, loving look at the real.” 

As we look at the One who is the maker of heaven and earth, we experience transformation. It has been said that “If we don’t know how to contemplate, we will manipulate.” As we contemplate God, we are letting go of the reactions and attempts to self-protect and manage our lives. Manipulation may seem like a strong word, but it refers to those ways that we approach life and others through either active or passive means.

As we consider the “beholding” or contemplation of Psalm 121, at the heart of it is the reality that the Lord does not slumber or sleep. He is paying attention. In a very real way, we might say that he is contemplating us. He is always holding us in His awareness. He never stops. He never “leaves us or forsake us.” (cf., Hebrews 13:5; Deuteronomy 31:6) So, the invitation to behold Him is a response to something He is already doing with us.

We are encouraged to live in response to our awareness of Him beholding us.

And how specifically is He beholding us? In love and with affection. Zephaniah 3;17 paints quite a picture:

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.”

Can you receive that? His gladness. His love. His exultation. In these words, there seems to be an eager anticipation and desire. As we consider the reality that God “saves” us or delivers us, we are drawn to think about what He is delivering us from and how He does it. 

He delivers us from a life that is experienced as separate from Him. He delivers us from the distress as well as our temptations to deal with distress ourselves: through war and deceit (in its various forms). 

His deliverance and saving comes through His love. As we know and experience His love, we let go of the weapons we’ve taken up and instead take hold of His hand. In 1 John 3:1-3, we are encouraged to behold the love of God:

“See (or, behold/contemplate) what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.”

As we contemplate Him and hope in Him, we experience transformation.

Reflection questions: What do you experience as you ponder that God is pondering you? How does God’s contemplation of you in love shift the posture of your heart and mind? What might the Lord be inviting for you? Sit for at least five minutes in loving awareness of the God who is lovingly aware of you.

Prayer: Lord, may I put no worthless thing before my eyes, but only You – the One who loves me and exults over me with singing. As I encounter my need for help, give me eyes to see Your loving presence. Amen. 

Read the Psalm

When disoriented, we look for comfort. We look for something that will lead us to being safe, seen, soothed, and secure. In the distress, we become aware of our need for this kind of help. Flowing from the prayer of Psalm 120, the psalmist now prays: “I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?” This is a critical question that we have to engage on the journey toward home.

In the Old Testament context, hills symbolized strength and protection. However, if you were journeying through the desert, the hills were also a place where thieves might be – awaiting travelers in the valley below. Cities were built on hills for protection. A pilgrim, on the journey, would have been vulnerable, and therefore looked for safety and strength. Specifically, this particular looks to the hills seems to be a look to the hills of Jerusalem – the house of the Lord. The psalmist does indeed trust that their help and comfort is from the Lord, but this requires asking the question.

In asking the question (“from where does my help come?”), we are wise not to simply give lip service to the Lord being the one but also ask where we are tempted to look. From Psalm 120, we see that typical places to look are war and deceit. Both of these are self-protective strategies. When feeling threatened, we may look to fight and defend ourselves. When in distress, we may lie to protect ourselves … perhaps bending the truth to avoid conflict. The classic reactions are fight or flight are reflected here. 

If we desire for the Lord to be the one who is our comfort, we are compelled to work through letting go of our old strategies for finding comfort and strength. What is it for you? In what ways are you tempted to self-protect instead of finding your help (comfort) in the Lord? You may find your self-protective strategies in one or more of the following: perfectionism, people pleasing, success, insight, aggression, knowledge, control, numbing, or withdrawal. These may be turned inward or outward.

These self-protective strategies make sense to us … they may have even worked on some level. We understand them.

A familiar passage in Proverbs 3 sheds light on our temptation in times of disorientation. “Do not lean on your own understanding.” (verse 5a) The first part of the verse encourages: “Trust in the Lord.” How? Do not learn on what makes sense to you. Then, “in all your ways acknowledge Him.” How do we acknowledge Him in all our ways? First, we trust that He is involved in all things as the maker of heaven and earth. Second, we acknowledge by asking: God, how are you in this? What are you doing?

Rather than rushing to our home-made remedies, we stop. We pause. We wait as we let go of those self-protective actions, and ask for help. In this space, we feel a vulnerability that opens us to the help or the Lord. We might even say that as we let go, we are opening ourselves to the Holy Spirit. Jesus called the Holy Spirit the helper (cf. John 14:26). So, as we let go of what has made sense to use in the past, we are positioned to put our trust in Him. 

We find a specific prayer of trust in verse 3: “You, O Lord, will not allow me to stumble, and you will not sleep on me.” All of the places we go for help are behaviors we believe, on some level, will protect us and keep us safe. Trusting in the Lord for this is a recognition of God’s love for us, that He does not take His eyes off of us. Wherever we find ourselves, He is present, watching and guarding us. 

Therese of Liseaux wrote this as a young woman in the early part of the 20^th century: “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

Will you look to heaven, as you release those self-protective behaviors that have always made sense on some level? In the vulnerability you feel, you will encounter the Helper.

Reflection questions: Lord, how are you with me in my present circumstance? How are you loving me and helping me? Give me eyes to see your help more strongly than I see my old ways of reacting to distress.

Prayer: Lord, I have ways of reacting that make sense to me. Forgive me for reacting with my self-protective strategies. Help me to response in trust … knowing that are in all my ways. Amen.